Yesterday I was at a restaurant with my friends. This Asian guy came in and sat near us. I noticed him speaking Korean on the phone. I consume a lot of Korean content, so this got me really excited. On a whim, I decided to go up to him and chat. I introduced myself, and he invited me to sit with him if I wanted to, even though he was a bit awkward, lol. He ordered some stuff for me. I found out he’s here in Switzerland for work, and we had a good talk. I ended up hanging out with him around the city. We exchanged contact info and are seeing each other again today after he gets off work. It was my first time doing something like this, and I honestly didn’t know meeting people could be so spontaneous and organic.
That was considered normal behavior for most of human history.
This is what they stole from us.
They stole it from us. Sneaky little lizardses
imho people gave it away.
Yeah I was gonna say the same.
I grew up when you had to actually memorize or write down a phone number, and actually just know how to drive around your own town/city, without a real life, real time minimap (the 90s).
Yeah, for basically all Millenials and older, this is… completely normal, to occasionally, randomly strike up a conversation with someone.
Learning how to do that, when its unwelcome and you should probably back off, when its going well and it brightens both your days… that’s called ‘social skills’.
Think about it.
There are people reading this thread and having their minds blown.
Also, remember that the 0.01% send their kids to schools with absolute bans on phones. They know the value of being able to create a connection with another person.
You can just go, fairly easily, find a compilation video of children, Gen Alpha… well basically just destroying everything around them if you take away their phone or tablet.
When this all breaks, when internet access becomes exceedingly expensive or otherwise gated, or maybe we just can’t afford phones anymore after China stops letting anything with rare earth metals be exported to us…
Those kids are going to go feral.
Can’t read, can’t write, can’t think, need constant stimulation.
I’m guessing you’re young? This is exactly how people have met new people for literally millennia. It’s only the decade or so that it became problematic. I’m glad you were able to figure it out and take the leap. May you find many new rewarding relationships, short and long term. So long as you respect anyone saying no to your overture, you’ll probably find many people are happy to have someone else take the first step.
Yes, this is how life was before internet. We made friends and talked to people who didn’t look up at you bug eyed from 24/7 tik Tok content if you talked to them.
Young folks are really going to have a tough go of human social interaction. No wonder depression is at an all time high.
Before the Internet people used newspapers and books to avoid interacting with strangers.
It was nowhere near as bad as it is now.
And, at least that could invite conversation about the news or book. You’ve never seen the book someone’s reading and been excited because you like it too?
Now you have no clue if bobby is watching oann news on his phone (he probably is) or a brianrot tiktok
I think it was only “better” in the past, because it was far less likely for someone to have things like properly isolating headphones and portable devices that could replay sound. I say better in air quotes, because people who feel an incessant need to fill any silence with mindless small talk were still annoying as hell back then for those of us who just wanted to be left in peace to do whatever we were trying to do before someone decided that they urgently needed to remark “Oh, it’s really raining,” upon seeing rain out the window of the bus, or what have you.
I’ve never had an issue with actually talking to people, mind you, it’s just that I find many people in the US have an insanely extroverted approach to conversation and will try to force it no matter the context. If I’m at a concert, or a book club or something, sure, we’re there to hang out, have a good time and meet people. If you’re trying to make conversation at a bus stop just to make conversation, it’s unnecessary. I planned for this downtime, I brought a book with me that I wanted to read. That you didn’t plan anything to occupy your time and your mind with doesn’t make it my responsibility to entertain you for however long I happen to be next to you.
Mind you, I’m not opposed to any and all conversation, but to keep with the mass transit theme, I’ll give you a recent example of what I’m talking about.
Guy: “Hey, you’re reading a book.” Me: “Yes, I am.” G: “That book isn’t in English.” M: “I’m aware, thanks.” G: “But then how do you know what it says?”
On and on for twenty minutes. This sort of vapid conversation that exists only to fill dead air is annoying as hell, and makes me more inclined to just not engage with people. Mind you, I don’t hate any and all conversations. I’ve had other interactions that start from a similar, “Wow, that book you’re reading isn’t in English,” observation, but then transition into something worth sustaining, like if they ask if there are any pointers for studying language, or how they really enjoy books from one country and want to study that language, or something else beyond merely speaking every time they perceive something, to let us know they do, in fact, have functioning sensory organs.
The whole “Just speak with anyone around you and be super outgoing,” approach to social interactions with strangers that’s been normalized in the US would be considered pretty weird elsewhere. Sure, people be too lost in social media or games or whatever is a bad thing if people aren’t learning how to socialize at all, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people just preferring not to be available for interaction at any time and with anyone, and choosing not to engage with people when they don’t want to and have the means to block them out.
In short, a lot of folks just need to stfu and realize that not everyone wants to constantly talk, and they should learn to discern the time and place for it, rather than imposing their preferences on everyone around them.
Sure, there’s those annoying people that no one likes. However I’m saying the norm now is for no one to say a word while everyone stares down at their brain rot videos. Its kind of horrifying tbh.
People are so addicted now that even me saying something like hey dude, nice jacket, yo, I like your car I have one like it! Makes them whip their heads up in confusion. And I’m not doing this daily, maybe like once every 3 months if I’m feeling outgoing.
Also, maybe if that person you mentioned socialized more and was more in tune with society, they’d realize people can read books not in English…that story is pretty funny to me actually !!
We dont need to fill every silence by talking yet we fill every waking moment with micro hits of dopamine from our phones. I stand firm that it is much worse now than ever. I actually force myself to not use my phone in public if I’m waiting for short things and just enjoy the moment instead. Of course, if ts a very long wait I’ll perhaps read a book on my phone.
Thats the other thing, if people were all just reading on their phones and gaining knowledge thats great, but 99% of them are watching brain rot 2 second videos and following bots on x. None of that is good for human brains.
Yeah, phones are far too expensive to swat people away with. Plus, a rolled up newspaper or a book has much more heft.
You knew not to mess with the person reading Atlas Shrugged, that sucker hurt.
Skill issue, just gotta get a bigger phone. One of those rugged bomb proof ones.
Need to bring back Nokia brick phones for hitting motherfuckers with.
I struggle to strike up a conversation with people I already know
I just talk to myself these days
I’m a dude though, the circumstances aren’t the same, lol.
But I have, actually, many times. Especially in uni and highschool, I’d be the one to approach the quiet kid cause I just wasn’t comfortable with them feeling excluded. I made a really good friend in uni that way, a quiet, very clever and responsible ginger dude (in a country of brown people, he was basically a mythological being, lol) I ended up spending many of my afternoons with, just yapping and toking our late teens away. 🙏
My brother was always super shy, so I grew up around it, and know how to a handle it. I’ve always recognized the shy person, and made sure to speak with them, ask their opinion, etc. They have plenty to say, it just makes them uncomfortable, so they generally appreciate it when someone else makes the approach, and doesn’t make any issue out of their shyness.
This gave me an idea, I wonder if the username BrokeBackGinger is taken 🤔
Yes. And I hate that it’s so hard to do now. My generation will always have a phone and earbuds in, and then complain that it’s hard to meet people.
I’ve gotten in an elevator with people my age and received awkward looks and silence when I make even a small comment.
Totally agree, but don’t let that stop you, keep at it! Maybe those just weren’t your people.
If I’m on an elevator thats moving more than 2+ floors usually thats enough time for the weather conversation or quick small talk.
Congrats. Modern society has neutered us to the point where doing something this natural feels exceptionally daring. Of course, there’s also those of us who are introverted, for whom walking up to a stranger is a genuine challenge.
How did it feel ? how freeing ?
I wouldn’t even say it’s a challenge to talk to strangers. I can do it fine, and do it all day at my job. It’s just, I don’t feel the desire to do so simply for the sake of doing it. If I’m sat in a park reading a book on a Saturday morning, I can pretty much guarantee you I do not want to talk to people, yet you’ll get people who just want to plop down next to you on the bench, let out a sigh and say “Hoo, boy what a week, eh?,” and expect you to put down what you were doing to keep the conversation going.
Think about this. When they made the movie ‘The Net’ in 1995, they showed how oddball Sandra Bullock was by having her order food with her computer.
In that far off past, even if you were introverted, you couldn’t function without doing almost all your transactions live and face-to-face.
I wasn’t of food-ordering age in 95, I’ll have to watch that one. Can’t get enough of Sandra Bullock
Yes, I do it all the time. Yesterday I greeted a guy in my buildings elevator and commented on the Nat Geo logo on his jacket.
I then learned he was one of many project managers working on National Geographic Museum about to open in DC.
So now i stoked to check out the museum when it opens this summer.
Nat Geo was literally the best publication on the planet for over a century. Then Fox bought it, and now every other issue has a Biblical cover. Another case of MAGA destroying anything good in the world.
Then Fox bought it
OMG I didn’t know that had happened! :( When I was a kid my grandmother got me a subscription to it every year for Christmas. It was great.
The other day my apartment neighbor got the number of the apartment he was looking for wrong, knocked on my door by accident.
We had a 20 minute conversation about his ball python, and snakes and pythons in general.
I got to tell him my story of the one time I had to freeze motionless, in the badlands, upon getting close enough to the wrong bush, which let out a very distinctive rattle.
And he told me about ball python diets, and enclosures, and how, apparently, a male python being used as a breeding stud is a reasonably decent source of income.
Did you go see his snakes?
A buddy of mine in high school owned a python, not sure of it was a ball. Anyway the first time we hung out was to smoke a bowl and to feed the snake.
We went to the pet shop, got a mouse and went to his house.
It was like something out of a horror movie! He dropped the mouse in the tank and it was absolutely terrified. The thing was petrified .
The snake reared up and struck that snake pose… and then pounced on the mouse and crushed it to death, and ate the whole thing… it was beyond brutal!
Unfortunately I am quite crippled at the moment, and would not want to chance accidentally harming the thing with my functional lack of coordination.
Perhaps when I can handle a bit more hobbling around without the cane, I’ll try and meet mr python.
I have seen and met other pythons before…don’t think I’ve seen one gulp down a terrified, screaming lunch, but I have had an older one … how would you say, use me as a clothes rack?
That one, she was well trained and socialized to people; as long as I kept calm and moved slowly, no harm, no danger.
Quite an experience though, and I’m certain it could smell my fear through my poker face.
HAHA on the coat rack, I think they like to do that as we are warm blooded and elevated off the ground.
My buddy would let his wrap itself around his neck while he played his guitar.
No, never. I’m too introverted for that.
LPT.
Old people love to chat. Ask them anything. “Is there a good bakery around here?”
It’s like any other exercise, the more you do, the more you’ll be able to do tomorrow.
Yes. Have done so several times, and have had people come up and talk to me out of the blue as well. Sometimes it has gone well. I’ve had a few good conversations with random people on long distance transport (planes, trains, and such) when I struck up conversations with whoever ended up in the seat next to me, and a few times (more rarely) in grocery stores when I’m having trouble finding something (or vice versa). e.g. got asked about uses for unusual ingredients I was having trouble finding and traded some recipe tips.
Usually when other people come up to me they just want me to give them money, or join their religion though.
Shocking what can happen when humanity put down the phone and meet people in real life. Wish this normal behavior will be more commonplace like it used to be.
I’ve been a hangout at the coffee shop/bar and casually meet people person for over 20yrs. In the last six months the amount of conversations I’ve had with strangers has shot up exponentially. For the first time in many years it’s reminded me of what the social scene was like when I was in my teens and early 20s at the turn of the century. And it’s not just people my age returning to it, it’s a lot of the 21-25 crowd. I’ve been invited to play darts, join a pool or foosball game, or play some Buck Hunter with a stranger more times this year than I probably was in the past five. It’s nice, a chill night out meeting new people even if it’s a temporary “let’s converse for a bit”.
Happy to hear! :-)
I can and I do, often when I find people speaking Spanish! (I’m in Australia, I speak a bit of Spanish, and it’s uncommon in Australia)
Last summer I told someone I wanted to talk to them ‘face-to-face’ and he asked me if that was an app :(
Uh yeah this is kind of the human experience
I wouldn’t but I think it depends on the culture. In Morocco people would just start chatting to people in the car next to them while they were waiting at traffic lights. They would just chat to everyone.
