Not every but too many. I know waaayyy too many men that are propped up by their spouse or mother, who not only does the lion’s share of the housework, but also works on his physical and mental health. It’s disproportionate

WOMENSSTUFF IS A TRANS+ INCLUSIVE WOMEN ONLY COMMUNITY*

I had a partner who could not do laundry or clean. He approached the washing machine like a boomer to a laptop.

When we visited his mom I found out it was straight up heresy in her house for men to do house work. One lively dinner fight started when she accused him of secretly using the washing macine while she was away, because something was off. His family paid for everything and used their considerable political momentum to carve out his career.

I had another partner who cleaned fucking everything, all the time, the oldest of a huge family where everyone had to step up. He did a disproportionate amount of labor in our relationship, physically and emotionally, because my only-child ass just couldn’t keep up with his skills. He couldn’t afford post-secondary, but went on to build his own company where he continues to put in twelve hour days.

All that anecdote to say: I don’t agree. Everyone deserves recognition for their contributions. bringing women into the foreground shouldn’t undermine what a man has accomplished, we can make the spotlight bigger.

But men who minimize women, looking at you James Watson, can suck my tampon.

Every great man I’ve ever met has learned self-reliance to the extent that they don’t need a woman to feel complete and move themselves forward, while also having the emotional openness to ask for help when needed. I know firsthand from male friends that it’s possible, but society puts men at a disadvantage there.

A lot of men aren’t taught the importance of contributing equally to housework and emotional labor, and sometimes it takes a woman’s influence to get him to transcend traditional societal expectations into something better. In that sense of the word, I believe “Behind many great men is a great woman.” But the term is often used to justify traditional gender roles where men aren’t held to the same expectations. I’d also like to see more energy toward men helping each other. In a perfect world, behind every great man is a great man or woman.

I think that there needs to stop being this sort of ‘competition’ between the sexes. One isn’t better then the other. We’re both different and that’s ok

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I think because of social norms and toxic masculinity this is most often true, though the roles are often reversed as well. The thing I see least often, in monogamous relationships at least, unfortunately, is all parties working equally to maintain quality of life. ENM doesn’t solve that by any means, but because communication and equality is key, non-hierarchical ENM relationships often tend away from those issues, anecdotally.