• Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.worldEnglish
    7·
    6 months ago

    My workplace surprised me with support this week. At first it was the same pattern it’s been throughout my life: stress builds up, attempt to get support, those intended to provide support fail to provide it, I break down, people misinterpret the series of events, and I get punished for breaking down. (Specifically, I got in trouble for “not maintaining professionalism.”)

    But this week, I did something different. I did something I’ve never done before - I narrated the moment from my point of view and spoke up to management afterward.

    I wrote up my side of the situation in an essay, complete with an illustration demonstrating what extreme stress does to my mind, and presented it to management. I told them how I lose my ability to communicate at a certain point. I told them how I tried to follow protocol to get help before things got that bad, but was denied it by people I trusted. I pointed out how specific words that were used in the moment triggered trauma from my past that made it even harder for me to defend myself in the moment. I expressed how hard it is to keep trying to stay 100% perfect every day, and how much it fuels my self-doubt when despite my best efforts, I get in trouble for not maintaining that perfection.

    To my absolute astonishment, they listened! In fact, at the end of the week, the management team did a presentation on “professionalism” that outright stated that if someone at work is struggling and you have the capacity to help them, you should, because helping them is an aspect of professionalism.

    It feels so weird. In all my 35+ years, I’ve never been supported like this after an episode. I should feel grateful, but some part of me is still expecting the other shoe to drop.

    Such is the life of someone with sufficient trauma, I guess. The closest feeling to “security” that I can hope for is “feeling cautiously optimistic.”

  • Damaskox@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    6 months ago

    Do not be afraid to ask help if you’re in a tight spot. Family, friends, professionals or other people that could help you out.

    Use different outlets to discharge bad feelings. Write, paint, chop wood, scream in the forest. Watch soothing popculture material that helps you to deal with the same topics.

    • hazel@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      2·
      6 months ago

      If chopping wood and screaming in a forest are among your first suggestions then I think I want your life.

      • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        6 months ago

        yeah i gotta ride an hour to scream without bothering people. combination of too dense population and good lungs.

        • Damaskox@lemmy.worldEnglish
          1·
          4 months ago

          Not all possible solutions fit for everyone.
          Yes, the surroundings affect the tools you can use.

          It’s still important to come up with ideas though. Such as - you can grab a pillow and scream against that, to make less noise 🙂

      • Damaskox@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        4 months ago

        Well…it would certainly be a better idea than, like, cutting yourself…especially if it’s enough to calm you down.

        I get an impression that you would have wanted different advice? Or that my answer surprised you somehow?

        • hazel@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
          1·
          4 months ago

          I think you misinterpreted my comment entirely. I agree that those are healthier outlets than self harm. I was playfully implying that the examples you gave hint that you might live somewhere much nicer than my treeless, urban environment. I don’t think that you gave bad advice.