My mom has a type of cancer now, and I keep thinking of how different things could’ve been if my parents were still together. I’ve always felt like a bad person and I’m constantly trying to redeem myself. hell I can’t even say no to people even if I disagree or don’t want something and am constantly apologising.
You were six. You absolutely were NOT the real cause of their divorce.
That said, you still need to open up to both of them while you still have that option. It’s not as important o reach a resolution or for them to respect your position as it is to simply make them aware of how you feel and to vocalize it for the sake of your own mental health.
Hopefully you can all at least make peace with each other and move on.
- Your parents’ divorce wasn’t your fault.
- If you still feel like it was, it’s because your parents put that shit on you selfishly. (Possibly one more than the other.)
- Therapy is recommended.
Why do you feel you caused their divorce?
I promise you if the acts of a 6 year old were the straw that broke your parent’s marital back, the marriage wasn’t guna go the distance regardless.
This. If anything, you helped both of them get out of a relationship with no future.
You didn’t cause it. I know it’s hard to internalize, but I think it’s important. Go into the bathroom. Look yourself in the eye, and tell yourself that you didn’t cause it. It’s not something you need to feel guilty for.
Then find counseling.
You should tell both of your parents this.
I promise you, there’s very little chance you caused your parents to divorce.
Here are the ways that you could have done so.
- You were an affair baby. Still not your fault.
- You have extreme special needs, in which case you probably wouldn’t be able to post this.
- You murdered one or more siblings and your parents couldn’t deal with it.
- One of your parents caused your death and you’re somehow posting from beyond the grave.
What I’m getting at is that it’s technically possible you were what drove them apart, but it’s also highly unlikely.
I know the feeling though: “If I’d just been better I’d still have my happy family.” I know.
It’s a lie. It’s the feeling of loss and your brain desperately grasping at how it could have been prevented.
You might consider talking to a qualified professional about these feelings because they are legitimate and reasonable and wrong at the same time. Best of luck.
