My mom has a type of cancer now, and I keep thinking of how different things could’ve been if my parents were still together. I’ve always felt like a bad person and I’m constantly trying to redeem myself. hell I can’t even say no to people even if I disagree or don’t want something and am constantly apologising.

  • Guidy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    121·
    3 days ago

    You should tell both of your parents this.

    I promise you, there’s very little chance you caused your parents to divorce.

    Here are the ways that you could have done so.

    1. You were an affair baby. Still not your fault.
    2. You have extreme special needs, in which case you probably wouldn’t be able to post this.
    3. You murdered one or more siblings and your parents couldn’t deal with it.
    4. One of your parents caused your death and you’re somehow posting from beyond the grave.

    What I’m getting at is that it’s technically possible you were what drove them apart, but it’s also highly unlikely.

    I know the feeling though: “If I’d just been better I’d still have my happy family.” I know.

    It’s a lie. It’s the feeling of loss and your brain desperately grasping at how it could have been prevented.

    You might consider talking to a qualified professional about these feelings because they are legitimate and reasonable and wrong at the same time. Best of luck.