This feels weird, but I agree with you, internet stranger.
Compare LA to Phoenix AZ and you go from the description of all the things the green text says are aren’t true to them being reality. 4 Chan is probably filled with people from conservative shitholes hating life because they live in a conservative shithole
This has nothing to do with right/left political inclinations. In the real world people just associate based on things they have in common.
Yeah, this is what people don’t get. Anon goes out in NY and sees that. Go out in Bumfuck, Utah and this are very different
Hey, I live in Utah, and it’s not bad. Sure, there are a bunch of Trumpers, but most of the people are chill. Even in the middle of nowhere.
You can find good and bad areas everywhere. If you avoid the worst of it, pretty much everywhere is livable with people.
I imagine it can vary wildly within both of those cities. I guarantee that both cities you mention have areas where everything OP said holds true.
I’m of the opinion that you shouldn’t raise kids in conservative shit holes. What if they are gay?
I don’t recommend them at all, conservative shitholes I mean unless maybe you are very well off and have passive income. Living in a place where people are basically ready to freak out over someone saying good morning as they pass and all the weird hate and suspicion towards everyone around them isn’t healthy. It’s like a culture built around having an enemy freaks out when there’s no immediate external one and looks for enemies within.
Maybe it’ll be gay people maybe it won’t necessarily be that bad for them, hate culture is fickle and not based around logic, sometimes it’s something of a comfort blanket for some people. Some people respond to be controlling and and others that claim to be in power and project control. People who grow up under “My house, my rules” type of homes grow up and vote for people who project that aura.
Yeah other comments have a point that you can run into assholes anywhere, but politics most definitely shape communities no matter how much people say they don’t. Redlining shaped entire communities for over half a century, to pretend a neighborhood built around being held down because it’s primarily an out group is suddenly going to have a drastically different way of life after some policies stopped is moronic. That’s only one thing that causes a culture built around stratification, there’s plenty of problems. Sometimes the damage is already done and actual policies need to be done to reverse it or else people are just stuck. Some policies are hard to really get into detail and convey just exactly how damaging they are especially to people who were never even taught those policies exist to begin with.
I know that this isn’t exactly what you were getting into, I guess I just wanted to dig a bit further into my points seeing as how people are still interested days later. Getting into the politics of it requires some knowledge of history. Basically political landscapes shape culture for better or worse
oh yeah def. another point is that rural America, and especially the most trumpy parts, is dead economically. urban America has it’s problems but at least you can get a job for the most part.
Ah the old Arbeit macht frei point… ok
I was anticipating his clarity once the Psilocybin wore off.
Some say that he’s still high to this day.
just don’t let that happen and you’ll be fine. your existence occurs inside your head. make it a pleasant place.
It’s a shame that this is fake gay
Knew it was fake as soon as it started with >Go Outside
😂😂
And I knew it was gay when they first started talking about guys.
Life in a walkable city
Perhaps outside is so nice because all the haters are locked inside 4chan doing that annoying fucking captchca over and over.
As cliched as it is, attitude makes a difference in how you view the world around you. Two people seeing the exact same thing can have vastly different views. Hell, the same person can have different views on different days or hours of the same day. Humans are like that.
To your point we literally don’t see the same things. Humans only “see” a tiny thumbnail of the world at a time even that is a blurry recreation of what reality is actually doing or happening in front of you.
It’s filling in the gaps in real time by old memories and splotched together assumptions. Now add to that other humans together in a group. You’re gonna eventually agree on a reality that you can communicate about and make decisions etc.
The internet has inserted itself in the evolutionary path of humans and inadvertently all life forms on earth. It’s like an alien entity that controls human minds like a fungus would.
This is 100% true 50% of the time
In only 25% of the world
so 12,5% chance of this being the case? still not bad
i gotta know where this guy lives because that sounds awesome
Sounds like most major US cities.
Edit: or college towns, even.
Yeah you need to be in a high cost of living area, not in rural hell.
In Brazil, maybe the only thing not as accurate is that here everyone is cute and handsome (the gostosa energy)
Um, pretty much everywhere? Just avoid the upper-class areas and you’ll see essentially what OP sees.
It’s true
✅ Fake
✅ Gay
So “outside” is real? I don’t understand. Can someone give me a download like or something?
There is no ceiling
The ceiling stops the eldritch fleshmelter from melting my skin and stealing my vision.
I dunno but am I crazy or is that onigumo?
The way I see it 4chan is filled with people who have untreated mental health issues. I personally have Anxiety and the world seems dark and miserable (granted im also trans and surrounded by Transphobes).
Being trans in 2025 must feel like being Will Smith in Enemy of the State.
Im also a strong unionist and Anarcho-Syndicalist, im basically playing life like its Wolfenstein on the mein leben difficulty (the hardest one)
Pretty much
Shhh. Let them stay at home, I don’t need the competition.
Competition? You may be giving them too much credit.
You may be giving @TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.world too much crdit.
The issue is not that we anons are fat. The issue is our personality. That is why we do not have qt3.14gf.
You mean I got that protractor to measure the angles on my face for no reason? Dammit…
Its too bad there isn’t a gym for one’s personality.
There is, it’s going outside and talking to people. Also therapy.
Talking to people doesn’t make me a better person. It makes me mask and feel further alienation. (Though yes, being completely alone is awful so I still socialize.)
And I can’t talk to a therapist for many many reasons.
The first day at the gym is the hardest, but without any other context I will take your word for it. For most people, though, that is the way.
For me, I’m pretty ADHD with definitely some other shit mixed in and I’ve just come to accept that many people are not worth it. That said, so many people are and it just takes finding them. I was lucky to not get traumatized into masking as a child, though, and while it makes working with emotionally bankrupt engineers tricky I can at least survive out in the world in the context of making friends.
I’m curious what a “personality gym” would do for you, as you brought it up. At some point you’d be aiming to take those skills outside, right, so would it be in preparation for the going out and talking to people part? Or would you like to have a personality in isolation and at that point why the gym?
I suppose I’d like to have the happy carefree loving energy that people naturally gravitate towards and it to be earnest (rather than it being a mask or something). I’d want to be a normie.
Even more I wish to basically be a himbo. People love himbos. But I’d have to become dumber, less judgemental, and more confident in myself. Someone who believes in astrology/spirituality because everyone else around them believes in it. Someone who’s not anxious about politics all the fucking time.
Like, I want to be a different and happier person. Maybe its a “grass is always greener” situation.
Hell yea dude, I so 100% understand that.
When I found that I was being judgemental and closed(and a bit of a stick in the mud, if I’m honest) I just tried to practice doing more “yes, and” stuff. It may be different for you but for me I realized that a lot of what was holding me back was plain old insecurity. I was simply afraid of being vulnerable to that level and so terrified of the chance someone would try to use any error I might make against me that I would get defensive when someone felt at least safe enough to try to give some feedback.
Being authentic is hard at first because it requires being vulnerable and, friend, I so get why that’s easier said than done. I’d worry less about being something so set-in-stone like a himbo and more about remembering that you’re allowed to be more than a mold filler. Like when you see a character who’s normally a little silly step aside with another and drop some calm wisdom and you go “oh, this person is more than their trope” or when the normally crazy barbarian type character shows softness when it’s needed. It’s situational, ya know? It’s not masking to turn down one knob and turn up the other when it’s appropriate.
The best part is that even if you strike out making friends or whatever you can at least say that you were a good, authentic person during it all. No one can ever take that away from you but you, and you control you.
—
It’ll be hard at first, to take what may feel like such a big risk, but I believe in ya and I can tell you genuinely care so you’ll get it for sure. Start small and build up and you’ll get there sooner than you think :)
Vulnerability is definitely something I am not able to do without rumination or severe anxiety later. I usually only reveal my deeper thoughts when I’m seriously drunk (edit: or when I’m on the internet). It feels great in the moment, but then the next day I worry I came off like a nutcase (because I probably did) and agonize over it.
Normally I am very “survivalist” minded in my social interactions and I’ve been so for a very long time. I’ve gotten extremely good at it, so good that I’ve kind of forgotten who I really am to a degree.
I’m good at masking with significant charisma with preparation/rehearsal/caffeine for some amount of time. Though I have “high highs and low lows” on charisma. 95% of the time I’ll ace it and people will like me, other 5% of times I come off like an unhinged weirdo, robot, or alien. Usually when I’m socially burnt out or the opposite, socially starved/desperate.
I wish to basically be a himbo
Why tho?
The best way to be happy, IMO, is to find people with similar interests, and ideally a good variety of different types of people that share your interests (i.e. don’t hyper-focus on one). Maybe you’re into board games, so look around for some board game groups (library, meetup, etc). If you go that route, make sure to practice a bit of restraint until you find a good group you can vibe with (e.g. don’t take it ultra seriously if others aren’t), which may not be the first or even fifth group you play with. Or maybe you’re into cheese making or carpentry. Or maybe you just want to try those things out. There are groups for pretty much every interest in most metro areas, so look around.
Some tips:
- practice good hygiene
- if you’re neurodivergent, it’s cool to mention that at the start, just don’t keep bringing it up
- try to keep discussion pretty surface-level until you get more comfortable w/ the group (i.e. don’t bring up deep MtG lore at a cheese making meetup)
There’s no simple solution here, but trying out a bunch of different groups and going slow can certainly help. I had two roommates who were on the autism spectrum, and one had a very healthy social life while the other was largely a recluse. The one with a healthy social life was upfront about being neurodivergent (and asked for help navigating social situations), careful about exposing too much at once (took us months to realize we were all into GZDoom), and generally took good care of themselves. They also had confidence, but that comes from practice, and it’ll be hard at first. We tried our best to get the recluse to join our groups, and we were somewhat successful, but at the end of the day he just didn’t put in the effort.
I don’t know what specific issues you have, so I don’t know if any of this will help. But hopefully you’ll find it’s worth a try. Don’t be something you’re not, you’ll likely just feel unfulfilled, but also be careful to not unload on others until you find the right group to open up to.
I got the basics covered, in fact I tend to be fairly anxiety riddled about making sure I meet bare minimum expectations if I go out of my way to socialize. I only really let myself go (in multiple ways) when I’m depressed. Which admittedly I probably am right now.
Its funny you mention board games. I’m actually not super into board games on an intrinsic level unless its a supremely nerdy/crunchy game. I get very meticulous/competitive/analytical/meta-gamey but I do go to casual board game meet ups anyway because its “fun enough” and I can socialize occasionally.
I think though you hit on a key element: I don’t live in a metro area. I live in a rural hellscape, and commute into a small city. And for a number of reasons I tend to not socialize after work and instead head straight home. I’m usually tired after work and I worry about driving home later than that potentially and driving exhausted. (45 minute commute)
