So I’ve come to a realization after about a couple decades of stress and shit that I probably have adhd. Obviously I don’t want to for sure since I haven’t been diagnosed, but when I’m literally yelling at myself to do stuff and can’t stay focussed on basically anything, and get extremely overwhelmed via information overload, etc. It’s a good idea to get checked out.
But…I don’t want the medicine. I don’t know why but I dont like the idea of it. I take other medications, heartburn meds, cold medicine, vaccines, etc. But I dont like shit messing with my head. I don’t even drink coffee (and I don’t drink or smoke either. Hell, im even reluctant to take painkillers) It causes such anxiety in me, I don’t exactly know why either. But the me who is shit and can’t focus and whatever is all I’ve known. I dont want to be someone else because I took a little pill filled with chemicals. It’s stupid. I know its stupid. If this was someone else talking to me I’d be saying “well You’d improve yourself and you’re just making yourself focus like a normal prrson.” But I have such a fear of…of whatever I fear. I don’t understand.
Methylphenidate is amazing. For me at least it gave me the ability to do things I wanted to do for years but could never find the drive.
There’s a few different release mechanisms so don’t give up out the gate, even if it’s the same molecule they are not all created equal. Work with your prescriber until you find the right fit. It is worth it.
Your brain has a dopamine hole and you are bound to be doing something to fill it, probably undesirable. I used to spend so much time on my phone, years wasted. A shame, really. Go get your meds and take care of it the right way.
As someone who has been medicated for years now, just try it. For most people it’s not habit forming. Also getting diagnosed doesn’t mean you get medicated. It does help you understand why you are the way you are. Medication doesn’t undo the lifetime of trauma you’ve endured and all the bad habits that stem from that. There is a lot of shame attached to ADHD that is external to the condition. You solve that shame and anxiety through therapy. The medication makes it less emotionally taxing to change tasks. It also helps suppress rejection sensitive.
It doesn’t change you. You won’t be less creative. It won’t even stop you from hyper focusing. It will let you stop hyper focusing though. Having better priorities is still on you, but it’s easier to stick to them with meds and therapy.
I had similar anxieties/worries when I got my diagnosis. I was determined that I wouldn’t get medication after a diagnosis. But part of the diagnosis process was taking aderall and measuring how it affects me. I felt so calm for the first time ever, and realised that it’s not like caffeine/alcohol/weed at all. It significantly improves my life and I just can’t ignore that and live a much more difficult one when there’s an easy fix with almost no side effects (in my case).
After getting medicated my uni results went up, my sleep problems got manageable and I finally got myself to clean my room regularly. It’s different for everyone though, some people don’t find any benefits from medication.
In the end it’s your choice and if you don’t want to try it that’s totally fine. I thought I’d share my perspective.
I have ADHD and do not take drugs. What has helped me the most is exercise. Exercise everyday in the morning (Do NOT try to do boring exercise. Do something fun or you wont do it. Find something you enjoy to get exercise. I like to play music, and dance around.) It will help you focus and do things by releasing natural hormones ADHD people are low on generally. The same ones that medications try to replace.
Don’t feel bad about taking breaks either. If you feel yourself getting bored get up and exercise some more. Afterwards youll feel much more focused.
Its called Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder for a reason. If we are not extremely active we have trouble with focus. This is not a flaw. Its an evolutionairily advantageous thing. We would have been amazing hunters in tribal times for example. The issue is modern life in general does not fit with natural human behavior and ADHD people are more susceptible to that than others. We need to allow our bodies to move, and give them what they need.
Think of it like this. You need to do your taxes because society says so. But your body wants you to eat. If you don’t eat enough your gonna have trouble doing your taxes as your body wont work right. ADHD people NEED to be active. If we aren’t then our bodies won’t work right when we go to do other things. As long as you give your body what it needs though it’ll work great for you on those other things.
- Get diagnosed first before fretting about options.
- Knowing you have ADHD doesn’t mean you have to take drugs. There are other options instead of / in addition to.
- Honestly yeah it’s a hang-up you’re having. I’m familiar with it because I had a little anxiety about it, too. Psychiatrists & therapists are also familiar with it.
- Maybe this helps a little: To the best of my knowledge, none of the ADHD medications have long-term effects, so even they were to “change you” in some way you don’t like, it’s not permanent, and will be gone in hours, days, or weeks, depending on the drug (hours, for most).
- A book on ADHD may relieve your anxiety, because it’s so common that they usually address it. You might try Driven to Distraction.
