Legodalf

Frodalf is just Tom Bombadil

Gimlum is the wizened old meth head that steals your hubcaps and tries to sell them back to you.

Frodolas looks like Elrond

Thanks I’m done, sailing West now.

This is prime bullshit. I love it.

That’s not Frollum, that’s Vladimir Putin

my man Goldo has seen some shit.

or maybe that’s just someone running out of air on Mars because Quaid hasn’t started the reactor.

Okay, doing this Sudoku-style where I can only draft one from each row and column for my fellowship, here’s what I came up with:

Gimli:
Never thought I’d die fighting side by side with an Elf.

Gogolas:
What about side by side with someone precious?

Could have filled in the white sqaures for reference. Gimdalf looked close enough to Sauruman at first glance.

How is Gimdalf the least cursed? It just looks like Saruman if you squint your eyes a little.

Why is Frodolas more cursed than Golgolas?

Gimlum looks like the average patron in any village pub in rural Eastern Europe.

Legollum looks like Chad decided to become a shut-in NEET

How do I un-see this??