I have had so many communication issues, and being that I spent most of my life as an entrepreneur, this whole "don't speak to the boss like an equal" is just another in the long line of social faux pas that I make because I don't understand the unspoken language of the allistic world. And this cost me my job. This is apparently EXTREMELY COMMON for autistic and neurodivergent people.
The video I'm referring to that I watched: https://www.tiktok.com/@csmijango/video/7037149653892222255
And here's the video where I talk more about the "hierarchy thing": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2zW3S5M3ro
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#autism #adhd #audhd #neurospicy #neurodivergent #socialanxiety
Can someone please write a book on all the unwritten rules?
I’m tired of people getting mad at me for not using psychic powers I don’t have.
I read a book called Good Intentions Aren’t Good Enough that basically went over all this.
It helped, I think. It’s been years since I read it.
Unfortunately the rules are way too context-dependent.
One of the issues is, at its core, an autistic person isn’t able to interpret these rules implicitly. The alternative then is to give a rule, describe all of the exceptions to it, and create a sort of rubric for you to interpret the circumstances in any particular moment in order to behave “correctly”.
Compared to socialising, riding a bike is relatively simple. But imagine if you were tasked with creating a highly specific manual for riding a bike that people were relying upon to learn how to ride a bike - the thing would have multiple volumes and, unfortunately, at the end of the day it wouldn’t be enough to change a person who doesn’t know how to ride a bike into a cyclist just as soon they have finished reading all of the instructions.
Edit: This is a perfect example of what I’m talking about; it’s a rule but it’s highly contextual and you have to apply this in the correct context at the right moment. But not too often - just enough to show interest without coming off as if you are faking it or being disingenuous. But this is just one tiny little sliver of all the rules we are expected to navigate.