I can run any piece of machinery with an hour of goof around time. Doesn’t matter what it is. Let me poke around it for an hour or so and I’ll have all the controls and most quirks figured out.

Sadly it’s useless because employers won’t give me a chance to prove it.

You give them something real to vote for. Give them a reason to turn out. And there’s a reliable way to do that. Hard policy. Universal Healthcare. Free education. Raising wages. Stuff that actually improves people’s living conditions in their daily lives.

Because believe it or not, The World’s Most Powerful Military and genocide do not excite any democrats that aren’t members of the DNC Services Corp.

Hell yeah.

Well boys. We clearly need to persecute them harder.

Checkmate Deists.

No loving God would allow this to exist.

The fuck they shoot it with? Paintballs?

Didn’t he also fall down walking up to a podium?

Aliens visiting Earth.

I know it’s a statistical impossibility that we’re the only life out there. I just don’t believe they’ve ever been here. Since we haven’t been either conquered or uplifted yet.

What American dream?

Yeah. Uh huh. More like Spez saw the drop in site traffic and shit his pants.

The American Experiment has a result. It failed.

We live in the dumbest timeline.

It’ll be dead on arrival if it is.

They’re paid to.

They know better. But this is the bullshit they spin to try and convince everyone else. It doesn’t work.

We’ve been cooked since we’ve depended on capitalists to do the right thing.

It was never going to happen.

Remember when it was “Don’t be evil”

Lol.

Good news everyone! No more Student Loans!

Change my withholding to $0 and go on about my life.