Yes, this is a Boob Appreciation Post (BAP for short 😆), sue me, I like my boobs even though I’m probably only an AA cup.
Went for a walk wearing a sweater. Me being me, made it indecent and didn’t wear anything underneath, which obviously made my nipples stick out, a lot. Bf fell asleep, so I had no sex so I was horny and wearing just my sweater gave me better access, letting me rub my nipples any time.
Don’t sue me, okay? I was super horny and it just feels so freaking good 😭
(God, my body suuuuucks tho)
God, I’m so flat 😭
I told my grandma I was gonna need a bra soon…her response was:
I would give you one, but I don’t think I have a bra that small" 🙃
Gee, thanks grandma! I’m not insecure about being flat-chested at all, don’t worry 😭
Well…no matter what, small boobs are worlds ahead of no boobs at all, for me at least. The sensations of touching them, playing with them, just having them, seeing them bounce in the mirror when I walk, really seeing them bounce when I ride my bf, him sucking on them…OMFG
I love having boobs. It’s a dream come true ❤️
Also, I’ve just kinda…tried my best to stop being insecure about my shoulders. I mean, I’m still secretly hoping they’ll shrink a bit, because of muscle loss…if I’m not lying, I don’t think the “bony part” is as broad as the entire soft part of my shoulders? Idk, I’m just trying to justify having massively broad shoulders I guess…oh well. SRS and FFS for me and I think I’ll be good 🙂
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel what you feel at times, being trans is really hard.
But I really truly hope you can get out of this pit. I promise you, you are very pretty. Also, most people are not that evil, and a lot of people probably see you as a woman, how often do you actually get gendered in public? If I can get gendered correctly by strangers, you sure as hell can, and even if you don’t (which I fail to believe is true), that’s their problem. Also also, you can’t steal oxygen from anybody, and even if you could, you sure as hell deserve to live more than some people, just take a look at the most evil people alive today (you know what I mean), if they are still living you have no excuse, you deserve to outlive them. You are not a monster, you are a super kind-hearted, very feminine girl, and I am not exaggerating when I say that.
I wish I could give you a really big hug, but I can’t (probably, I don’t know). Please promise me you’ll find some people you can confide in, turn up to a social event or something where you’ll know there will be other trans people, I know it’s hard but PLEASE don’t stay isolated.
I’m trying to get out, but…it’s like the walls are sticky. It feels impossible to climb out.
I don’t get gendered in public. I don’t go out much (at all). I’ve been gendered correctly 2 times in total during my time on HRT, the rest is misgendering. I don’t blame them. I can see what they mean by sir…
I’m so sorry. I’m neither feminine nor kind and tbh, I don’t feel like I deserve to use feminine pronouns at all (in my gendered language, heh). Staying isolated, inside, safe, somewhere where I can’t compare myself to anyone, where I won’t get hurt…it’s all I’ve been able to do.
Thanks for your concern. I’m so, so sorry. It’s not your fault at all 🩵
Hey, I just said you ARE feminine, and while I don’t know you personally, from what I do know you are very kind. Also you deserve to use whatever pronouns you damn want.
I recommend going out more, staying inside is safe but doesn’t help you get better, if you can get someone you trust to help you get out more that’s even better.
Plus you’re right, people don’t usually gender others in public, which is why I asked the question, since you can’t assume what people are thinking about you, before I even knew I was trans, so no makeup or anything, I had people look me dead in the eyes and ask me if I was a guy or a girl, while people behind or side-on used to gender me as a woman (because I had long hair, just like you), and to this day I still think I don’t pass!
I think you’re also underselling how many times you’ve been gendered correctly, that number seems inaccurate, the people on here alone push that up a lot, and I’m sure your boyfriend genders you correctly right?
Is the misgendering random? I have a hard time believing someone looks at you for the first time and does that, it’s pretty clear you’re a woman. People who know you are less likely to gender you based on appearance and instead just because they’ve known you before or during transition, and people who gender you based on legal paper suck.
Lastly don’t apologise, I want to see you happy, seeing you sad makes me sad, and no, that doesn’t mean keep this to yourself, tell someone (even if that’s just us) <3