A lot of modern society reacts like this is a warning sign the second they hear it. Like it spreads, like something is wrong, like it needs fixing immediately. The assumption is always the same: no friends equals a bad life.
I would argue something most people don’t like hearing.
Being alone is better than having friends. Not fake friendships, not “just to fit in” friendships, and for some people even real ones can feel like more drain than value.
Because your time becomes fully yours. No constant messaging. No plans you didn’t really want to make. No weekends lost to noise and repetition. Just space to think clearly, build yourself, and live on your own terms instead of constantly reacting to other people.
Most people don’t question their social life. They just maintain it out of habit. Strip it back, and a lot of it is routine rather than meaning.
Being alone isn’t always a problem. Sometimes it’s the cleanest way to live.
Enjoy your time, different people go through life at different speeds. Be considerate of other people, but if you are enjoying your time alone, do that.
Once you have had your fill, you will know. I spent a good decade or so without any friends, aside from some family members. I enjoyed my time engaging with my hobbies. At some point I knew I felt alone and wanted to change that. Now I am actively looking for those connections and going to more events to find them.
Keep in mind, the more you learn about red flags, the easier you can avoid “fake friends”. Nobody is perfect, but if somebody takes every chance they get to shit on minorites or people they see as ‘weird’, they probably won’t hesitate to do that about you.
You say that you are content with your life, but every time you post one of these I can’t help but feel that it is a cry for help. I enjoy my solitude as much as anyone. I don’t like sharing my living space with anyone but my dog. But still, my friends are the people who can get me out of a funk and make me look forward to something. Please take care of yourself man.
life makes no sense without real friends to share it with, and humans are biologically built to have people around them.
this will start to weigh down heavily on you eventually, trust me. luckily for you, 18 year olds have a much easier time making lifelong friends.
and before you say it i’m not talking about fake friends, or that being by yourself can’t be awesome.
You’re assuming others are all like you.
you’re assuming you are very different from anyone else.
Sure, alone doesn’t == loneliness for some people. Life the life that you want to live, there’s nobody keeping score, everyone’s too busy living their own lives to care much about what you do or don’t do, within reasonable societal norms - just idle judging as you’re doing about them.
This isn’t some new thing btw, I’m 55 and only had two people I would consider good friends. I married one, and the other died in his 40s. People come into our lives and leave, but I doubt I’ll make more real friends. I’m fine with that, partly because of the reasons you mention.
You know the only visible difference between someone who truly enjoys their solitude and someone who is lonely but making the best of it? You see the lonely one.
The contemplative is too busy with their efforts to talk to others most of the time, and when they do talk to others it’s about the work, not the solitude. The solitude is unremarkable, a side effect of the work.
