I’ve felt rancor and bitterness towards most of my surroundings for all of recent memory and have now realized that it’s starting to affect my relationship (im growing impatient, ready to fly off the handle, a little defensive) and i feel like im in some way broken or “unfit” for a relationship. Very important to mention that i forgot to take my meds for an extended period and now they are virtuslly useless bbecause im a dimwit and am unable to properly remind myself of my fairly important emotional stability pills; This lack of pharmaceutical support (all a byproduct of my own actions) i think also plays a very big role in my current situation.
How do i not lash out or ruin my relationship with my partner because of my general unhappiness and, for lack of a better term, hate for and towards everyone else around me
China would be much more difficult, including the language, since russian generally has more in common with the languages i already know ><< (my partner knows much more about the moving, for now it’s a very distant possibility), although i’ve researched that China and Vietnam are less outwardly queerphobic than Russia, which would very much be a factor to consider since im trans and my partner is more fem presenting.
I do actually know someone near those parts, they’re Romanian but unfortunately they’re an orthodox christian zealot and proclaim themselves as anarcho-capitalist (they also think china is actually just “nazi germany but worse” because sinophobic talking points. they ought to hav a fuck ton of cognitive dissonance since they are also gay :P), but if i do meet someone else i will tell u ^^ I think china might actually be better for my personal education since imperial schools will ultimately regurgitate imperialist talking points.
Also the romanian guy i know is t a friend of mine i swear he just was in my class YwY