I’ve felt rancor and bitterness towards most of my surroundings for all of recent memory and have now realized that it’s starting to affect my relationship (im growing impatient, ready to fly off the handle, a little defensive) and i feel like im in some way broken or “unfit” for a relationship. Very important to mention that i forgot to take my meds for an extended period and now they are virtuslly useless bbecause im a dimwit and am unable to properly remind myself of my fairly important emotional stability pills; This lack of pharmaceutical support (all a byproduct of my own actions) i think also plays a very big role in my current situation.
How do i not lash out or ruin my relationship with my partner because of my general unhappiness and, for lack of a better term, hate for and towards everyone else around me
“Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”
“Zen isn’t thinking about Zen while peeling potatoes. Zen is just peeling the potatoes.”
I want to encourage you. In my early thirties, I went through a few years where nothing had color, flavor, anything. It lasted maybe three years or so. This was a couple of decades before learning about Jung/the shadow, attachment styles and how these subjects interact. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. One day I just woke up happy. I was so relieved. I hope the same for you, comrade. ❤️