I’ve felt rancor and bitterness towards most of my surroundings for all of recent memory and have now realized that it’s starting to affect my relationship (im growing impatient, ready to fly off the handle, a little defensive) and i feel like im in some way broken or “unfit” for a relationship. Very important to mention that i forgot to take my meds for an extended period and now they are virtuslly useless bbecause im a dimwit and am unable to properly remind myself of my fairly important emotional stability pills; This lack of pharmaceutical support (all a byproduct of my own actions) i think also plays a very big role in my current situation.

How do i not lash out or ruin my relationship with my partner because of my general unhappiness and, for lack of a better term, hate for and towards everyone else around me

    • opiumfree@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
      10·
      4 days ago

      this is my hottest take. i believe that a lot of „emotional self regulation” is just suppression

      • KRat@lemmygrad.mlOP
        7·
        4 days ago

        i think that self regulation as purported by the mainstream is ultimately just “let the 1% fuck you over cuz honor and coolness”, and should be called out and those which perpetuate it should have a talking to if they dont know any better, or hanged from their feet if they are purposefully passifying our populace.

        I do think actual healthy emotional regulation exists, but the state wont be the one that will teach you about it. (healthy emotional regulation as in actually letting yourself feel shit instead of the whole “turn the other cheek, anger is a sin” bullshit the theocrats and imperialist scum try to convince us with.)

      • amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml
        3·
        3 days ago

        I’d have to ask what your experience is with suppression of emotions. Because in my experience, emotional suppression can masquerade as healthy regulation some of the time, but it’s going to boil over eventually and the person will go off on somebody. The aim of healthy emotional regulation, as I understand it anyway, is not to suppress emotions nor to go off at the slightest thing (neither extreme), but to find ways to deal with emotions that allows you to channel them and process them. The person who lets stuff build up and build up, and then finally pops off on someone who isn’t even the main source of the upset is also dysregulating, but it’s less visible and more infrequent a consequence than the person who loses their temper at the drop of a hat; the first one is more associated with fawning / people pleasing and the second more associated with being controlling or “sensitive” either one. Sometimes the two are combined as a dynamic, with the fawning person burying their feelings to “please” the person who is constantly going off. I think this is where some codependent relationships derive from. Not to be confused with interdependence, where people are mutually uplifting each other as their whole selves.