And does the SF ever go away?
Using the term “NoFap” in the title is a bit like putting “AI” in there - it pretty much guarantees zero productive conversation in the comments and instead acts as a bug light for certain people to just chime in with their personal views on that one thing.
I don’t even bother writing a response to the actual question because I don’t want to spend the rest of the day defending views I don’t even hold.
Personally, I think “NoFap” is bro-science with little basis in anything even remotely factual.
As someone who was single (and a virgin, to apply a social construct) well into my 30s, I can totally relate to the emotional burden that loneliness, sexual frustration, social isolation, and all of the self-negative thoughts that come from feeling broken and unlovable. I get it, I really do!
To say that “it sucks” is an understatement, and I truly understand how feeling those kinds of feelings can make some “incel” guys lash out and be angry at themselves, women, or society at large. That’s not an attempt to excuse bad behavior, of course, but only to say that I understand the emotional context that too often breeds it.
I genuinely believe that loneliness really is an epidemic, for men and women alike, in both friendship and romance, and when you combine that with a modern political climate that seeks profit and power from fostering culture wars and driving wedges between regular people, it’s not hard to understand how we have become conditioned to hate ourselves and each other.
Undoubtedly, there is a serious problem with modern culture and proprietary app-driven socialization.
But here’s the key point: I really don’t think depriving yourself of sexual pleasure is going to make you less lonely, less isolated, less self-negative, or even more motivated to meet others.
Self-control can be a virtue, sure. There is certainly value in being able to resist instant gratification and controlling one’s urges…
But choosing to live a “life of NoFap” isn’t going to do anything to address the core reasons why you feel lonely or isolated in the first place. All you are really doing, in my view, is kicking yourself while you’re down–punishing yourself for being lonely, when you should instead be practicing self-care. You’re not addressing your problems, you’re adding to them.
Companionship, romance, and sex are different things, crucially. Ideally we would have them all, but you can have one without the others. So, with that in mind, why on Earth should a person deprive themselves of sexual pleasure just because they are lacking in romance or companionship?
The unspoken and unappreciated truth is that you don’t, and shouldn’t, need to be in a relationship to have a satisfying “sex life”. And likewise, people who aren’t in a relationship shouldn’t feel the need to deprive themselves of sexual pleasure due to some false idea that somehow being sexually frustrated will make you more motivated, attractive and likable.
If you really want to build relationships and have sex, start touching grass, getting to know people, and going out on dates. Shower, shave, wear clean clothes and deodorant, brush up on current events and take up some hobbies. Don’t just look for “girlfriends”, make friends and grow your social circle in general. If you have to ignore the superficial bullshit dating apps and meet people in other ways, then good, more power to you. But that’s really all it takes.
I know it’s not what you asked, OP, but NoFap is a purity cult. Cross reference the mods from r/nofap and you’ll find heavy correlation with religious sub’s.
Despite claims for helping porn/sex addicts, their intent is to get their foot in the door.
If you want to live a life of NoFap for reasons you decide for yourself, fine, but don’t so it to gain any of the benefits those twats claim.
Worst case scenario is you get prostate cancer.
I’m a woman to start.
There’s two modes I’ve found myself in when not masturbating - I’m either purposefully staying aroused and denying an orgasm to heighten sexual tension and pleasure OR I’m not masturbating because life is busy for whatever reason and my libido diminishes over time.
So it depends. And I think everyone is a little different as well, so you might want to play with not masturbating to reduce sexual frustration to see if it works for you.
Sounds like a categorically terrible idea. Is there any ackshuall proof having 1 orgasm per day (regardless of the outlet or method) is harmful in any measurable/quantifiable way besides reducing desperation for sex?
I just saw several posts the last 2 days of a study that showed that if you don’t cum enough, your sperm becomes a bunch of dumb dumbs. Yes, I used scientific lingo for that, I’m sorry.
Actually helps prevent prostate cancer in men, idk about women’s hard data physical effects.
I sincerely dont and cant understand no-fap outside of an addiction 12-steps/abstinence style vantage point.
It’s extremely dumb and only ever pushed by grifters, usually manosphere type losers.
Like, i dont get how they (presumuably) view having an orgasm-via-penis-in-vagina everyday as truly and biologically distinct from everyday orgasm-via-masturbation. I dont think your body truly knows the difference in a mechanical sense.
Idk I’m not a doctor but you sound right
Mechanical isn’t the only part being played. There’s hormones too. I’m positive there’s differences there depending on alone or with someone. Whether or not that has any health implications I’ve no idea.
You get it!
Having never looked into it, beyond what I come across occasionally on sites like this, I always assumed the idea was that being desperate for “relief” somehow made them more attractive to women, hormonally, or made them more “alpha”? Somehow.
Really stupid shit that kids fall for, I guess.
being desperate for “relief” somehow makes men more attractive to women, hormonally
It’s true!
Yeah it would basically be an anti addiction approach for me. Addiction runs in my family and we get addicted to everything remotely pleasurable. So I’ve spent my whole life saying no to alcohol & drugs & cigarettes, and since I cant find a suitable companion I have to say no to orgasms too 🤷🏼♀️ For me it feels empowering.
I’ve also seen it recommended for breaking “death grip” habits.
Well I’m a woman and I’ve talked to some men too who agree that when we masturbate it tends to make us turn socially inward & diminishes our drive to reach out to other people.
Whereas sexual frustration compels us to go out into the world with a sense of hunger & ambition, seeking social interaction & activities.
It’s the lifestyle I’ve chosen because after years of suffering all aspects of this mortal hell we call life, I’d rather feel paragraph 2 than paragraph 1.
Life is about balance. You dont want to be a reclusive masturbation addict, and you don’t want to be an anxious frustrated nofapper.
Yeah but every time I cum alone, it reinforces the alone-ness. I’m sick of self-perpetuating loneliness. Going out into the world with hunger & ambition & angst feels empowering right now.
That same idea can get you into bad relationships. It’s better to find a partner with a level head.
Then IMO follow what makes you feel right. In general just avoid taking things to extremes.
It would seem like the source of this unhealthy worldview probably isn’t the masturbation. But if nofap honestly (honestly) helps you, then knock yourself out.
This view seems, to me, to be really sex-focused in kind of a creepy way that … if you ask me, might have something to do with denying basic urges.
You can go out into the world looking for connections that are not sexual.
Without sexual release we’re a bit voracious & on edge but also at peak creativity & ambition; driving us to go out in the world and get shit done. Invent things. Create things. Meet new people with no ulterior motives, already living a wholesome life, and that’s how we can meet people the real way without our hands constantly down our own pants.
What evidence are you basing the idea that your drive comes from your libido? There are a lot of people out there with low or no libidos who have accomplished a ton.
Why are you focusing on libido as the source of creativity to the exclusion of a lot of other potential drivers?
This is what I am saying: the focus seems odd and creepy without lots of evidence for your reasoning.
It’s my own subjective experience. Masturbating is effortless immediate gratification that turns me into a reclusive hermit.
But every time I abstain for a month or so, I become a real person who participates in life & wants to connect with people. *
The difference is undeniable.
I’m not telling you what to do and I’m not telling anyone else in the world what I think they should do. I’m telling you my own subjective experience and my own choice.
*Yesterday I had enough courage to approach a super hot guy doing pushups on the beach 🥰 I had seen him there before doing yoga in the same place a couple weeks earlier & fell instantly in love because I’m a yoga girl too so when I saw him again yesterday my inner fires were finally burning at normal level, no shyness or low self-esteem yesterday for a change 😄 We chit-chatted, he likes me 💕
I think maybe you should think through why you feel that way, though. Surely you could decide to go out and be social because you would like to make new friends or be entertained. You’re here, writing out your thoughts, so you’re able to reflect and decide on actions.
I dont agree with that statement unless you’re chronically masturbating to hours a day gooner levels. I personally MUST get the poison out once a day whether thats with my girl or myself. That’s just how my body/mind works. As far as going out to participate in activities. I don’t see not getting a regular nut making you more likely to do a pottery class.
I am guessing the “nofap” idea comes from religion. Amazing how a god is so obsessed with sex. Makes one wonder if it is just men trying to control a natural drive in order to control others.
While the reason for someone to follow “nofap” varies from person to person. It does not come from religion. It is mainly a movement to help fight porn addiction.
I don’t understand the idea of not fapping.
I’d imagine this is how you turn yourself into a psycho killer.
Qu’est-ce que c’est ?
Fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa
Fa fa fa fa
Sorry I haven’t taken Latin since high school
It’s French. It means “What is this?”
“it is what it is”? (I don’t know latin.)
That isn’t what it is.
Your balls will explode!
I’m a woman.
In that case, your balls probably won’t explode then.
You’ll grow balls and then they’ll explode!
Chesticles will explode
That’s fatal.
You’re asking a bunch of chronically online lemmy nerds what they think of masturbation. So if you’re looking for an impartial response then you’ve come to the wrong place.
I’m in it, last relationship was 17 years or so ago
I mean it ain’t all bad. So long as you don’t mind the actual loneliness, the physical touch gets easy to forget.
But I dunno if I’d recommend this to anyone tbh
Oh edit because I didn’t address your question. No it doesn’t go away, but it gets easier to ignore over time. Also I’m on 1500mg oh lithium so that may impact things.
One of the side effects is compulsive posting on 4chan /pol
I can only guess anger, depression and extreme irritability. Especially in such a sexually charged culture.
Benefits: You can take all the meds with sexual side effects (e.g. most anti-depressants) which is actually a significant reason people ultimately stop taking them, and folks with testicles retain all their spermidine which low n RCTs have shown early evidence for autophagy-based longevity.
Removed by mod
I’m a woman.
After reading through the whole post, I doubt that.
There is an extensive catalog of toys for you to make you feel things no man will ever do
This response reminds me of my favorite comedy podcast: SuperEgo.
