Two for me:
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The moment you feel tipsy it’s time to ease down. You have a stomach full of booze that’s going to make you more drunk even if you stop immediately.
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If you think people are good, you’re probably right and if you think people are bad, you’re probably right.
People are good IMO.
That there’s an aspect of every relationship that always starts the same. It’s two people bringing richness to each other, almost like Kings and Queens coming together bringing their lands and wealth with them.
Over time though that richness can fade and instead of bringing richness they start begging for it from the other person. If you find that you’re in a relationship with someone and that both of you have turned into “beggars” whose life can only be complete if the other person performs a task or meets an expectation, the relationship will weaken and that weakness will invite other problems.
The solution, if you have become a “beggar” in a relationship, is to mentally detach yourself from the other person and spend some time alone trying to reconnect with what made you a rich resource in the first place. You must remind yourself what it was that made you a King or Queen and focus on regrowing those seeds of richness and independence from the other person. Then, once you have placed that crown back on your head you can return to the other person and offer your richness once again.
I’ve never forgotten that and it’s led to a happy marriage for 14 years. Also works with friendships and working/business relationships.
I really like this.
I think most people have heard the “you need to work on yourself first” advice, which just feels unhelpful.
And I’ve always felt that people calling themselves “king” or “queen” is them being narcissistic.
But this advice nicely reframes both of those things into a really good mindset.
I’ve always been great at medieval international diplomacy but awful at maintaining romantic relationship - thanks to your comment I can finally become master of my own destiny :)