What words, phrases or signs do you use and how do you get your partner’s attention?
Shaka, when the walls fell
Mirab, with sails unfurled.
Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Darmok! And Jalad! At TANAGRA!!!
Sokath. His Eyes Uncovered!
Temba, his arms wide.
The Star Trek community on Lemmy is what got me to start watching Star Trek. I’m starting on TNG and literally just finished this episode last night. Very happy that I understood this reference.
DS9 is the best. Wait til you’re finished TNG, or actually, I don’t remember if they ran concurrently now that I think of it. But anyway, you’re in for a treat!
Riker, his face bearded.
If we are together one of us will use the phrase “Is there Lemon in this?” And hold up our drink which is code for get me out if this conversation/situation.
If we aren’t in the same room. We pull out our phone and text Save Me. Then the other person comes and finds you to say that So and So needs them immediately. Yadda, yadda.
If you did that in front of me I would pick up on it immediately, without any prior knowledge of your code.
I swear people who use sloppy codes think the rest of us are stupid.
My wife knows that if I say “Honey, I need to do that thing with my butt” she knows I have to poop, with everyone else listening blissfully unaware.
That’s pretty slick, might have to steal it
Ok but don’t use it in Canada I can’t risk people learning what it means around here
They know.
That sounds so much worse than just saying you need to poop.
“Paying bills” == having sex
For us, it’s “Paying bills” == “Paying bills”…
So once a month?
Uh, different bills have different due dates, yeah that’s it
Logic checks out.
I have mine on “autopay”.
None. My wife doesn’t know about tact, or the polite white lie or anything like that. She doesn’t have time for that bullshit. It’s one of her endearing qualities.
Sign Language works pretty well.
We picked it up when my daughter was younger and we just kept going. Now we use it to speak to each other from across the room during loud events.
My spouse and I lived in a bunch of countries over the years. We speak Quebec French, English, and Spanish, as well as a smattering of Chinese, Bulgarian, Korean, and a few odds and ends here and there.
We basically speak whatever we think people around us won’t understand. Very colloquial Quebec French in non-French-speaking countries, Chinese around white people, Bulgarian around non-white people, or even a cryptic mix of everything when we’re not completely sure.
We figure anyone who understands is probably someone we want to know… Hasn’t happened very often, but it does happen. So far we weren’t saying anything overly embarrassing when we got caught, but we sure as hell have no filter between us because of this!
I’ve taught my husband to speak a bit of Japanese, but we don’t use it this way because that’s extremely rude.
I wouldn’t say we speak in people’s faces, but we make comments to each other about random stuff. I would never say something rude about somebody in their faces, but my spouse might go, “Can we go back to the hotel, I really need to take a shit” or something silly and unfiltered like that.
I get it, I just still think it’s rude and avoid doing so myself.
It’s rude for spouses to have a private conversation? Would whispering be better? Would it be better if they hid in a cupboard where no one could see them?
It is rude to intentionally speak in a language that the people around you don’t understand (especially if you’re doing so specifically because they don’t understand it), yes.
Yes, it’s generally considered rude to switch languages specifically to hide your conversation.
It’s because most will assume you are doing it to talk shit.
Sure, if people suddenly switched languages and then laughed in my face, I would feel bad.
But if it’s like the other comments in this post, and it’s a couple having a quick word about a private matter, I wouldn’t mind. It’s not like I should be a part of that conversation
Which they are.
Agree, it’s rude af.
Tell me you’re insecure without saying you’re insecure.
That’s probably a cultural thing, isn’t it? In diverse areas, people don’t expect to understand what they hear others say, so there’s no “Speak ___; we’re in ___” culture.
I’d say it’s more of a context thing. If you’re hanging out in a group of people chatting together and you code switch to speak to someone so nobody else can understand, that’s rude. If you’re just speaking to someone in another language on your own, nobody cares (except xenophobic bigots).
Oh, that makes sense. I didn’t consider anyone would do that.
Definitely an American thing. Wide swaths of the country have issues with any kind of diversity.
I wouldn’t even include all of America in that either. It’s really just a rural America thing. Sure 99.9% of people will speak/understand English, but in my anecdotal experience, it’s pretty common near big cities for people to be bilingual and grow up speaking a different language with their families.
For sure not the whole country. Don’t have to go far into the suburbs to find this kind of behavior, though.
I love those videos where people are caught trying to have a private conversation by someone who speaks an unexpected language! Also it’s shocking to me how many people loudly speak common dialects of Chinese and don’t expect anyone to follow… literally over a billion humans can understand Mandarin, someone is listening.
Haha, I’ve caught plenty of Chinese speakers having what they presume are private conversations in my presence, and sometimes even about me. People just automatically assume non-Asians can’t speak Chinese, even when these non-Asians live in China.
This happens to me sometimes as I lived in enough places that I understand a lot of common stuff in various European languages even though I don’t speak them beyond ordering a beer or whatever.
“Do we have any pineapple at home?” is our safe word for social situations when one of us needs a reason to leave a situation or change the conversation because they’re uncomfortable. I detest pineapple.
You must really dislike it - I’d have trouble not laughing if someone asked me this.
What if they go “sure, I’ll get you some”?
“Oh no, I want to bake a pineapple upside down cake later, I’m not hungry now.”
When my wife can’t remember someone’s name, she’ll grab my hand and squeeze it with two quick squeezes “Help. Me.”.
That’s my cue to either work their name into a comment/question or, if I don’t know them, introduce myself followed by a “And you are…?”. Works pretty well all of the time.
Of course, being together so long, and loving to fuck with each other’s heads when we can, sometimes I’ll just stand there and give them my best Aussie “owzitgoin?”, and watch my wife squirm. That’s usually when the nails dig into my hand, hoping to draw blood.
Worth it.
Dinosaur noises, typically when we’re trying to find each other.
Pig Latin. Kids haven’t figured it out yet. One can spell so that went out the window.
Next stop is probably Morse code.
.-…-. … . -. -… -. …- -… . … .-…-.
Ooh! Morse code with tongue clicks!
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Movie quotes. It’s amazing how many questioning looks we get from other people when quoting movies to each other.
Get in there, you big furry oaf; I don’t car what you smell!
Ha! Our trick is that we’re never with company. We are very boring homebodies.
This is the way.
We never use each other’s first names in normal conversation. If one of us were to address the other with our actual name it would immediately set off an internal alarm.
“my significant other did not address me as Mr. Bananapoopblender, something is seriously wrong!”
Instead of spelling it out or code, my wife and I will use increasingly obscure synonyms to hide our conversations from the kids.
They figured out “frozen confection” meant ice cream, so I need a new one.
Chilly Cattle?
‘ice cold milk.’ Could be talking about a glass of dairy, or a delightful dessert.
Subzero dairy
