im 157cm (5′2) 26yo male i have been in a realationship for 3years and i did had success somewhat with girls. tho sometime I feel like i need to work very hard, harder than my tall friends. if im not on my top shape and lean i feel like im not enough, and given less chances with girls. im pretty muscular, and have an ok face, i also pretty nice to talk to and tbh i never had a first date which the girl didnt want to go to a second date with me. but the height a lot of times made some girls not even consider me, and tbh 157 cm is like shorter than 99% of guys. im thinking about doing it to get to 5′6 tho i also dont wanna be the guy who is known for doing limb lengthning surgery cause its like an insecure thing. im pretty lost tbh. need some outsiders perspective ty
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by all accounts its agonizingly painful and has major impacts in your older years.
up to you, but most people I know with chronic pain or similar conditions would give up a foot in height to not be in pain any more
Nope. You’re gonna be happier to find someone who likes you for you, and not someone shallow enough to worry about the length of your legs.
It’s fairly dangerous and can introduce lifelong complications.
yeah you are right. but tbh sometime its also about being short in general. you know like every guy has is times when he feel less confident in life and in those times my height take over. i can even feel intimidated by taller guys standing near me. (and i do compensate with a lot of gym and im far stronger than the average guy but still. eye level is annoying sometime.) sorry about my english.
The ability to listen to reason, and change your beliefs off of the knowledge and understanding you gain will be far more attractive than height in the long run.
Good luck brother.
As a woman the same height as you, the world is for sure not made for people our size which is super annoying. (there’s kid size and adult size, and 5’2 is usually suited for neither ime),
One of my good friends from college was a man a full head shorter than me. He was the nicest person I’d ever met, full of charm and charisma, and had no problems meeting people and finding good people to spend time with. Because his personality shone through and he never outwardly seemed to care he was short, so nobody else did either (he did care sometimes, but was a happy dude anyway).
Height doesn’t matter imo. It might feel like it does, when nothing is sized for you and society says there’s some nebulous ideal, but in the grand scheme of things it’s who you are, and that’s ok. :)
nice to hear your positive view:) i am so with you about clothing but in my case im short but not narrow so i cant just buy anything at all haha L to XL fit well on my shoulder but its like a dress for me and small fit well length wise but makes me look like a sausage and boy band member😂 i just always go to the tailor 😅 a lot of money:( sorry for my english 🙏
I’m over 6’ and experience anxiety and discomfort. Sometimes I feel like strangers are weary of me at the grocery store, etc. My knees and shoulders are shit. It seems like the benefits of size peaked in my 20s and have decreased in the decades that followed. I’m not even a giant, just above average.
I’d rather be less noticeable these days.
Not trying to act like I know what your experience is, just sharing my POV.
Learning to be comfortable with yourself doesn’t always come easy - but its a very attractive quality for any person when they cananage it.
Best of luck either way
im sorry to hear that brother. feels like we guys suffer in silence when it comes to mental health and dark phases of life. best of luck to you too. im sure we will both find peace soon 🙏
No. Many other things you can do have a bigger impact on dating success, without any real downsides.
It’s very common to need to work hard to find relationships. That’s not going away.
Also at 26 you’re still very young. You have a lot of time to keep rolling the dice on meeting new people.
At 26 the dating pool might be starting to thin a little, but if he takes a few years out for elective surgery the dating landscape isn’t going to have improved.
I guess you are right. i guess im kind of depressed lately so i try to blame my height for it.
I wouldn’t.
I’m a 5’1" lady, and I’ve met plenty of short fellas with girls, I’ve dated a few myself.
I even worked with a guy, who was 5’2", not a bad person, but he had a medical problem with his BO, like, needed an Rx $60 deodorant, medical problem. We shouldn’t have known about it, but he never got the Rx deodorant and instead we all had to smell his rotting death BO. Like, it wasnt normal. He had a girlfriend The girlfriend liked it…
If he can find love, theres hope for you too. I didn’t meet the love of my like until I was 32. You have plenty of time yet.
I was checking out a short baddy just yesterday… don’t tell my 6’3" husband… I just thought the guy was handsome. I didn’t do anything about it obviously, but like, even in highschool senoor year my crush was no more then 2 inches taller than me, and he was my crush until he told me he slept with over 200 women, true or not idk, but we stayed friends for a time. Last I saw him, he and his wife were swingers.
Good women don’t give afuck about this kind of thing. Changing your body is dangerous and risky. Wear your body with pride, have confidence, the rest will follow. The surgery won’t really impact your outcomes I don’t think.
Imagine realizing 10 years from now that your wife wouldn’t have married you if you were shorter.
yeah i guess you are right. its just that i feel my height is not normal… like im not 5’5-5’7 which considered short,but normal. i feel like my height is extreme short and its like a legitimate reason for not wanting to date me and not because someone is shallow.
Would recommend to anyone in any situation to at least try working with a therapist about body issues before elective surgery. For that matter, having a therapist help them with the psychological consequences of choosing surgery.
thank you i will think about it 🙏
That kind of surgery can leave you disfigured like you were in a car accident and will likely lead to bone issues later in life.
As a tall man, I can tell you that personality is way more important. Girls who actually care about your height are not worth your time.
I don’t disagree at all but this sounds like “As a lottery winner, I can tell you that money doesn’t matter much”
you are right about that. im also thinking that if I will get this surgery and i will get some girl. when i go to sleep at night with her i will probably will think " hmmm, was she still dating me if i was 157 cm as before" and that will f with my head
Absolutely do not do it. My friend was a similar age to you and died because of the surgery. He had a pulmonary embolism as a complication during recovery.
im so sorry to hear that. i didnt even knew its a possibility. i thought the worst thing that can happen (like pernament) is to walk funny and not squat as deep. sorry if my english is not good. not my first language.
Would the brave downvoters like to squalk about why my friends death was worthy of a down vote? Or are you just going to continue to not express yourself responsibly in life?
Don’t worry about downvotes there is some nascent brigading going on. if you are not an admin you can check a site like this, votes are public. what I’m seeing is old accounts -2 years in your case- that only vote and never post and weird accounts who either delete their posts after a few days or have weird posts still up. lemmy has some vocal fascist weirdos with their little bot armies. Chances are they will be following you around for a while like typical reply-guys. The admins of the better instances do a very good job of keeping them out, but they cant be everywhere all at once.
Ffs, it’s lemmy. You gotta be patient before you start whining about votes. Your original is in the positive now, and would have done so without the whining.
Maybe I’m a little pissed someone would downvote a post where I explained a friend of mine died. I literally dont care about the outcome of the downvote/upvote ratio, im pissed more than 1 person read that and thought, yeah fuck that guy and his friend! I think I have a right to be a little pissed off.
But hey, next time you tell someone on the internet someone you knew died, I wonder how you’ll feel when someone responds telling you to STFU and stop whining, claiming you only care that your post was in the negative, and not that multiple people seem to relish that your friend died.
fFS.
Also, just so you know, it isn’t difficult to see who is following you around down voting everything you post or comment.
It’s absurdly easy.
Since doing so violates the terms of service of pretty much every instance, anyone doing that would be pretty fucking stupid if they aren’t using a throwaway account or accounts for their petty little hissyfit.
Kinda strange, isn’t it, when some butthurt twerp decides to do that kind of thing out of the blue.
I was making a point, you seem pretty butthurt on your downvotes, eh? To quote you: Ffs dude, stop whining!
Nah, I’m just letting you know it’s obvious what you’re doing.
Well I’m glad you care about my well being because boy howdy bro, your first post did NOT come across like you were trying to be a nice, empathetic person. Ffs.
You’re assuming it was a person and taking it like some kind of direct attack.
I get that it’s emotional for you, but maybe stop to think a little bit before over reacting.
No.
Don’t know that this is really a dating question overall, so be aware that you might end up with skewed perspectives.
That being said, it’s a lot of risk, a lot of pain, and a very long process that’s going to interfere with every part of your life. There’s multiple long term risks on top of the short term ones.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it. That’s ultimately a highly internal decision. What I’m saying is that before you decide, you need to really dig deep into the possible outcomes, good and bad.
You’ll also have to find doctors willing to perform the procedures in the first place. Even for people with dwarfism, not all doctors are willing to take on the risk. You might even have to move to get it done. For someone without an underlying condition, it’s going to be harder to find someone willing. And it’s definitely going to be out of pocket, dwarfs have trouble getting it covered even when you can point to a medical necessity like equalizing leg length as part of the benefits.
Which, you gotta save up ahead of time usually, they don’t work on credit.
At 26, you’ll likely be in your thirties by the time you can realistically complete everything involved.
It won’t be something that you can just switch off in the middle and go back to normal life either. Yeah, they can stop the lengthening, but you’ll still have all the recovery and pain to go through. Makes needing to be fully committed a higher priority than something cosmetic.
And it will likely come with benefits. You won’t actually see much of that in dating, but you’ll have an easier time moving through the world physically (assuming all goes right, because of it goes wrong you’ll be worse off in that regard). I was stuck in a chair briefly at one point, and the height issues are not easy to deal with. I had never really thought about it before, but once your head is under about 5’6", even with the longer arms of being taller otherwise, shit gets difficult. Easier clothes shopping with more options. Better vehicle choices. Dating is where you’d see the least improvement, if you saw any at all there.
Other social issues though, you’ll get treated differently. Not always better, but different.
Me? I’ve seen what all goes on with it. One of my patients back in the day had achondroplasia and opted for the lengthening, both arms and legs eventually. I was only there for the leg lengthening. No fucking way would I go through that for a few inches. That guy was also having surgeries to correct other things, so it wasn’t any worse in terms of hassles, but hell to the no just for height.
Anyone wanting it, you have my full support, but no way in hell would I go through it.
26… and you are giving up already?
My dude.
By the time you are done your agonizing surgery, you and the girls you’ll want to be with won’t give a crap about those superficial qualities anyway.
I guess you are right. i have to be honest when im having sad times i think about it more often. i guess when im done with this time the need to do it will pass.
I am a 34 year old who has never been on a date. Not because I am not tall enough. I am 6 ft tall, btw. But because of my general anti-social nature paired with BPD. I am hardly qualified to give dating advice, but I doubt that the right person would care about your height over your other better qualities. Or maybe I am just being romantic.
I appreciate you for those words brother. I hope you will overcome what you are facing and get peace
It’s your body; you can do what you want with it and there’s no “should” or “shouldn’t”. However, getting a surgery because you feel it will make you more attractive to the women you are around in your daily life right now is probably inadvisable, in the long term.
It’s supposedly a pretty hellish recovery process, involving you learning how to walk again. Also, personally, I think the photos of the guys who’ve had this done are very weird because they’re not proportional at all.
It’s natural to feel insecure about things, and I’d argue it’s natural to feel extra insecure about something like height, when it does seem to be something that makes some people view you differently, and is the focus of a lot of snake oil salesmen online trying to bully their way into your wallet by playing off that insecurity.
I don’t want to point out that there are a lot of guys who are short but are in relationships, but it is true. You say you’ve been in a relationship previously and have dated other women – obviously those people weren’t too worried about your height.
I would recommend against it, personally.
yeah i just feel like im not just short. 157cm is even shorter than most females. i guess im just in dark times in my life and when those time will pass the need to this will pass too.
Every short guy I’ve ever met has had a girlfriend. Meanwhile I’m 6’0 and a middle-aged virgin.
I think it’s an illusion in your head. The fact you’ve gotten somewhere makes you more successful with girls than a lot of other guys, many of them taller than you. I don’t think height plays much of a role for most women.
What I think does matter? Confidence, financial success, good looks, and cock size. Height has to rank like… not even on the top 10. My guess is it’s something that matters to certain girls with unusual tastes.
To be honest I wish I was shorter. I want to be a weak little shota boy with 3 legs. I’m serious. Smaller, slimmer, and with a divine endowment. I want to be so small and weak I’m unable to fight the women off.
If women are seriously flat out just not considering you because of your height then they aren’t women you want to be with. I’m not necessarily convinced that’s the reason, but let’s assume it is. Would going through such a surgery make you be okay with potentially being with someone so shallow? And if you did, what would their reaction be once they found out you have gone through the surgery?
I can understand wanting to improve yourself to find a partner. Getting fit. Dressing better. Advancing your career. Being fun to be around. All of these are good things to do. But you can’t control your height, and people rejecting you over it (and nothing else) are very shallow.
Like, just imagine you go through it. You find a woman you like. Then she says something like “I hate short men so much.” How would you react? Unless you’re ready to adopt that world view as well it’s not going to end pretty. Even if you took some stance like “short men are the worst, that’s why I stopped being one,” there’s still a chance she’s gonna laugh and view you as short.
If your height is genuinely negatively affecting your life and doctors think it’s worth pursuing, than go for it. I’m not some sort of biological purist. I’m just saying it sounds like the reasons you’re interested in it are short sighted (pun very unintended).
im agreeing with you in 95%. the 5%: I feel like my height is not in the range where im kinda short but its normal and if the woman rejecting me just on this she is shallow. 157cm is only like 7cm from being a legal dwarf… its not only short… its like… weird. i would have agree with you if i was like 165-170 and cry about it. but 157… its like shorter than most womens and not only short but extra short. im not self pity myself just to be clear im in a country where there is mandatory service in the military so rn im studying a fancy stem degree and regarding of taking care of my body im in the gym since 16yo (140kg bench and +70kgs weighted pullup 1rms thanks to my 164cm wingspan 🤣 ). but sometimes i feel i would do so much better if i would get like 10 more cm.
Everything I’ve heard about the surgery is agonizing, so can’t really recommend that.
