Two Lovers (2008), starring Joaquin Phoenix, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Vanessa Shaw, was a brutal watch for me—so difficult I had a hard time getting through its 110 minutes.
I even had to stop the movie for half an hour before continuing. Not because it’s terrible—far from it. It’s actually a great film, a tremendous romantic drama. But it cuts close. It hits home. I feel trauma watching this movie.
You see, I know this world. I understand Jewish families—the parents, the expectations. I understand the loneliness portrayed in this movie, the loneliness of the main character. If you want to understand male loneliness, goddamn, does this film portray it well. Oh man, I’ve been there. In my 20s, with little to no prospects, living with my parents, wondering if I had a future.
And what this film gets so spectacularly right is the dilemma between the two lovers, two women who are opposites. I found myself yelling at Leonard Kraditor, played by Joaquin Phoenix, because I’ve been there. I’m shaking my head, telling him, Leonard, you can do better than that! But that’s tough to believe when you feel like you have nothing.
Man, I know these two women. I’ve dated these two women. Not at the same time, like in the movie, but goddamn, do I know this world.
The first lover, Michelle Rausch (Gwyneth Paltrow), is Leonard’s aspiration, his dream of a better world. She’s glamorous, she’s got friends, she goes nightclubbing, she has a great job. She seems sunny. But there’s a darkness in this girl. And you know she’s all wrong. She sees Leonard as nothing more than someone to take advantage of—an emotional vampire, sucking the life out of him because she craves his support. But she won’t give him what he truly wants: real love.
Then there’s the other girl, Sandra Cohen (Vanessa Shaw). Sandra is good for Leonard. She loves him—absolutely, unconditionally. She understands who he is, how he’s a wounded person. And it’s not that she wants to rescue him; she just loves him in a way he can’t comprehend, a way he’s actually afraid of.
The problem? Sandra isn’t aspirational. She comes from a family just like his. She’s Jewish. His parents set them up. She’s the nice Jewish girl that all Jewish parents want their sons to marry. And what’s the glamour in that? What’s the risk in following the script? There’s nothing unpredictable about Sandra. She is good. And if Leonard ends up with her, he’ll live a very predictable life, at a very predictable job, with very predictable Jewish children.
But here’s something I know now, being in my 40s, being married: What’s wrong with who you are and where you come from? Leonard’s family may be overbearing at times, but they love him. They support him. They want the best for him. And that’s one of the reasons I love this movie—it could have played Leonard’s family as obnoxious Jews, but it doesn’t. They’re not obnoxious. They’re a loving family. Middle-class Brooklyn Jews, living in a humble apartment building. I know these people. They are my people.
It’s interesting—this film got great reviews, but it was overshadowed by Joaquin Phoenix’s infamous interview on Letterman when he was promoting it. But I think this is one of his best performances. So often, he gets pigeonholed into the lonely eccentric role—like with Joker—but Leonard isn’t eccentric. He’s depressed. And that’s a real thing. A lot of men go through it. I’ve gone through it. And it’s brutal.
I did read one review that dismissed the movie as “pretentious ideals with no realism whatsoever.” To that, I say: What movie were you watching, dude? No realism? If this film isn’t real, then my life wasn’t real.
It’s a difficult movie to watch, but it’s an amazing one. Very emotionally heavy. I highly recommend it. Definitely watch this one.
@movies@piefed.social
It’s unsurprising that Phoenix can play dark and depressed well given his brother’s death and whatever happened to him in The Children of God cult
