• @lilja@lemmy.ml
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    14711 hours ago

    Well, yeah. Isn’t the whole point of these foolish office mandates to get people to quit? That way they can reduce their workforce without the cost and negative press of another round of layoffs.

    • gian
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      167 hours ago

      Probably. But this way you have no control on who quit, with a good probability that are the better ones.

    • @ChocoboRocket@lemmy.world
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      33
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      10 hours ago

      Go into the office and waste every resource you can.

      Plug in a fan + heater + aquarium + massage pad at your desk and leave everything on constantly even when you leave

      Print every email and throw it in the trash.

      Make coffee 50x a day and pour it down the sink

      Flush a whole roll of TP every hour

      Leave sinks on in the bathroom

      Use entire tubs of soap to wash your hands

      Turn on the microwave for hours at a time

      Heat/cool office thermometer to force HVAC into overdrive

      Open new browser windows until your computer crashes and repeat until the network goes down

      Company wide meme emails that everyone participates in (team building) that crash servers and dominate inboxes

      Pour sugar/crumbs everywhere so there’s pest problems

      FORM A UNION

      (nuclear option) introduce bedbugs to all your bosses offices

      • @sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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        75 hours ago

        You forgot the most important one: deliver just enough to not get fired, but way less than you did before RTO. Then point to the stats and show the massive productivity drop after RTO.

      • @linearchaos@lemmy.world
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        34 hours ago

        All that stuff together is probably only one salary per team, except for the Union. I think the Union is the winning idea.

      • veee
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        389 hours ago

        Ok waste paper, mhmm, coffee, yep, microwave, good thinking—

        FORM A UNION

        Woah, woah calm down Satan.

    • Punkie
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      5311 hours ago

      Layoffs are not bad press. Not to the shareholders, the only ones who matter to these types. I used to think “oh, layoffs mean the company isn’t doing so good,” but shareholders see “they reduced cost but lost no customers, thus increasing value of the company should it be sold.”

      • @scarabic@lemmy.world
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        11 hour ago

        This is true, and it’s weird because these same companies used to hire like crazy because only growth mattered. Finally real financial discipline is being applied. The tech company I work for is open about the fact that revenue-per-employee is something like half of FAANG companies and they want that to change.

      • The Dark Lord ☑️
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        3910 hours ago

        I hate that that’s the case.

        I’ve been trying to lose weight, so I chopped off my leg just below the knee. I’m several pounds down, and I didn’t have to stop eating even a calorie. It’s amazing.

        The only issue is that now I don’t have a leg and exercise may be difficult….

        • skulblaka
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          45 hours ago

          Just sell the body to some other rube and move into a new one that still has both legs. It’s easy. What are you, poor?

        • Aniki 🌱🌿
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          2110 hours ago

          Yeah but that’s FUTURE you’s problem, not current you, so it’s totally fine!

          • edric
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            910 hours ago

            And you’re still alive right? /s. Akin to the people who said Musk’s firing of twitter employees was a genius move because the site was “still running” after all that.

    • @solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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      3211 hours ago

      negative press

      pretty fucked up that quiet firing via RTO bullshit is less negative press than just laying people off