I just got out of a 10+ year relationship a couple months ago, rather suddenly and not of my own volition. I do not fault my former partner, she did what she felt she had to do to be happy. Unfortunately, turns out, I didn’t really have any friends of my own, I was just a hanger-on to her group. I have done a bad job of keeping in touch with anyone outside of this group, and I find myself very lonely nowadays.
Things have been tough for me for this and several other reasons the last couple years, and while I am incredibly thankful for my family taking me back in and supporting me while I get back on my feet, they can’t be the only people I interact with. That said, how does one actually accomplish this? I’m pushing 40, I live in a rural area (30 minute drive to anything that isn’t run and populated by out-and-out racists), and I’m broke as hell. I’m not particularly even interested in dating, just making some new friends and not being so lonely all the time. Where can you go and what can you do nowadays that doesn’t cost a bunch of money and people are willing to talk to strangers? Internet or IRL, I suppose, but IRL is better because God I need to get out of the house more.
Sooo I was kinda in your shoes a few months ago, and decided I really needed to do something about it before I lost my goddam mind. What I’m doing (and it’s kinda working) is to find a community that interests you, and persistently be involved in it. I personally found a streamer on Twitch and a few Discord communities, and hang out with those people by generally just being there and having small interactions with others. We watch the same things and play the same games in voice chat. It really helps to have some sort of common activity that you can comment on and springboard your experiences or stories. You don’t have to be that guy that’s obnoxious and in everyone’s face, just pay attention to the people in these groups and be super friendly. I’ve found a few acquaintances and am working on knowing them better to become friends. You’ll remember names and interesting things about them, or be like me and take notes so you don’t forget lmao. Eventually, they’ll say “Hi <name!> It’s nice to see you again. How was your day?” and then you know you’re on the right track.
Socializing is hard, especially when you’re not used to it and in this online era. If you’re friendly and attentive, people will reflect that energy back to you, and you will form bonds. Good luck!