So, I’m currently dating someone, and it’s my first time dating. I was a kissless virgin before this but I’m not kissless anymore ^^. Anyway, we get along really well, sharing a lot of interests and similar views. They’re a “newer” lefty, but they have a good head on their shoulders and are open to learning. We’re really excited about each other. We’ve talked a lot over voice chat, had three dates so far, and exchange a bit of daily texting. At this point, I’m pretty sure we’re going to become a couple, maybe even for a longer time.

Today is our 4th date, but I do not intend to tell them I love them because I’m not really sure how love feels. I definitely feel attraction, and it seems very mutual. I guess my question is: When do I tell someone I love them, and how do I know when I truly love them?

Im asking because this is literally my 1st time dating and I have never been involved in anything romantic.

  • PointAndClique [they/them]English
    11•4 months ago

    Some things that may be worth considering:

    • some people like to wait out the ‘honeymoon’/‘puppy love’ period of dating first, when everything is still butterflies in their tummy and wait until it’s replaced by a more stable sense of happiness to see the other person rather than just ‘excitement’, if that makes sense. Relationships may not make it past the puppy love phase and that’s okay, so not confessing to a deeper love is a way that some people protect their own emotional commitment until they’re more certain
    • another (conservative) approach is only saying it when you are confident that you’ll receive the reply ‘I love you too’ back, this requires watching your partners moods and language to see if they’re using more affectionate language. If either/both of you are hesitant people then it’s likely that you will both feel it before you say it, using this method narrows down the risk of awkwardly finding out the other person doesn’t feel the same way
    • thirdly is asking, “How do you feel about me, is this like or is this something more” and then having a conversation about how you feel, then you can put forward “I think I love you”/“I love you” out there after broaching the topic of feelings first rather than saying it unexpectedly.
    • fourthly (romantic?) is waiting until a moment of passion, maybe a deep kiss, and then saying it then. It can make the moment better and then clears the air for you to say it later…

    Still, everyone/every relationship is different so it may not fit into any of these patterns. Very happy for you and enjoy this cherished period of your relationship