As has been discussed already here in this community, the key takeaway from the bear hypothetical is that it is an opportunity to truly listen to the lived experiences of women under patriarchal systems. I encourage “first response” to the bear discussion to head back to this post, as I am looking for discussion kind of after the fact. If this is your first exposure to the bear thing, head there, then pop back here after you have a good handle on the situation.

My question has two parts:

  1. Positive Steps: Let’s explore resources for folks to act on the things they have learned from this discussion.
  2. Creating a Safe Space: During the course of the debate, it’s likely that high emotions have led to lashing out and unkind words, perhaps even unintentionally directed towards men who may be survivors of SA themselves. Can we create a space here for listening and affirming one another about these potentially painful experiences?
  • @otp@sh.itjust.works
    30•7 months ago

    I think that part of the problem is that people tie their identities to labels.

    When someone says “I’d rather encounter the bear than a man”, some people will say “I’m a man, and that means she’s afraid of me (personally)”…and go on to have their feelings hurt by it because it’s interpreted as a judgment of who they are as an individual.

    Honestly, I think a big part of it is ignorance of women’s experiences and a difficulty with perspective-taking.

    Maybe men aren’t as statistically dangerous as bears. If they aren’t, why are women afraid? There are reasons for that.

    I can imagine some men extrapolating from this and wondering “How can I ever approach a woman if they’re all afraid of me?”…but the answer is “NOT alone when she’s alone in a secluded spot in the woods”…

    If the question was “Would you rather encounter a bear or a man at a board game café?”, you’d find a lot fewer women hoping to encounter a bear.

    Context matters.

    • HanrahanEnglish
      7•7 months ago

      I said ok, her choice and moved into the next meme/story.

      I must admit to not understanding the furore that then arose and don’t know why men (am a man) were getting butt hurt. Why would I care if women prefer the company of bears in the woods.

      • @otp@sh.itjust.works
        5•7 months ago

        I’m glad that you didn’t take it personally. I still think it’s important to understand the reasons why women might generally prefer the bear.