Yeah their news articles try not to be as blatantly pure propaganda as their TV programming, but they still omit a lot of information to subtlety frame stories in their favor.

You supposed be up cookin breakfast for somebody

Oof I’m a big Dream Theater fan and never knew that. Poor timing for sure.

dam

Don’t suppose you’re actually a beaver?

This should honestly be a news story in itself. Absolutely no possible justification for redacting the word “don’t”. No human would have made that redaction. This had to have been done in an automated fashion, specifically to react references to Trump.

Many assumed after the “South Park” Season 27 premiere aired that its entire climactic sequence was created using AI. The new BTS images, however, reveal that not only was it practically filmed, but the micropenis featured in it was really Parker’s finger.

Haha that’s a great pic

Dammit this is so true. With us, it’s chips. My teenage son poured himself almost an entire bag of Doritos into a bowl the other day. But them sometimes I notice our pantry is overflowing with bags of chips because everyone has magically decided they don’t eat chips now.

How’s ol’ turtle neck doing anyway? I saw he was hospitalized a couple days ago but haven’t heard anything since. I assume if he died it would’ve made the news.

I’m glad you provided a serious answer, because I thought the bottom picture was just a joke and not a reference to an actual person or thing that had happened.

The dude that took that email was on his work computer at Harvard! Fucking wild.

Yeah this was definitely a race for the bottom, but unfortunately a necessary one. Michelle Obama’s idea of “when they go low, we go high” only works if your opponent has a miniscule amount of morals or shame.

Yeah, and at the end of the day, we’re all just bags of meat with electricity flowing through us. It’s amazing we’ve made it this far.

Whenever I’m driving and someone does something really stupid, I’ve started saying to myself “don’t be mad, cut them some slack, it’s clearly their first day driving.” I started saying it as a joke, but honestly it seems pretty accurate most of the time.

Edit: I shared this with a friend and she responded

My sister and I text each other OWIHTP when we are behind someone who waits for their entire set of groceries to be scanned and bagged and loaded and suddenly realizes they will have to pay for these food stuffs and only then begins searching for a method of payment. It means “Oh, wait, I have to pay.” Happens waaaay too often.

Real brave of New Orleans PR putting out a statement defending themselves while completely ignoring their officer. No mention of their confidence in him - or denying that he’s a “Criminal illegal alien having no place in our community.” Fucking pussies.

I reject your reality and accept OP’s reality - where these birds are alive and happily drunk. Sorry, but that’s just the world we live in now.

I wouldn’t get your hopes up just yet. Some turtles can easily live for over a hundred years.

Not sure how anyone can be alive and experiencing the same reality as the rest of us and come to that conclusion. Let alone basically half the people asked. We are truly fucked.

Guitar Hero on the Wii was peak gaming. We used to have Guitar Hero parties where we’d have a bunch of friends over and stay up all night rocking out. Was so much fun.

Dude forgot to add COMMIT;

Happens to the best of us.

Who is your favourite musician, Ratner (against whom there have been accusations of wrongdoing) asks Melania. She responds with “Michael Jackson” (against whom there have been accusations of wrongdoing), detailing how she met the late singer with her husband (against whom there have been accusations of wrongdoing). Perhaps this is Ratner’s vision for a modern American: a country of forgiveness.

Lmao this writing is pure gold