I tried hiring myself out as a distraction for people just before they hit the ground but the air horn and firecrackers aren’t working, maybe I just don’t have the legs for it

Turkey had a problem with Russians invading their airspace.

HAD

I don’t know if the glass is currently up to spec but the old crown vics with the interceptor package are quietly tanks

I’m a proud graduate from the Terrence Howard school of math.

I guess they haven’t asked me or it’d be 91%

An engineer called Roger Boisjoly knew about the gasket problem and warned management, they launched anyway. I’ve always felt terrible he had to live with that

Or black to do this, although you’re just called a Panther

The satire isn’t obvious anymore, I did for a minute too

It’s your duty as a human. Think of it as pest control.

They’ve declared war, it’s time to start making ice melt

One time I was both fine and dandy for about an hour, but nobody asked how I was!

Good first step, now make him write “I will eat my calming banana instead of getting angry” 1000 times on the chalkboard like Bart.

YES!

Let’s all refer to him as an African immigrant every time he’s mentioned, cause all immigrants are bad right? What’s good for the goose…

It had enormous potential then just sort of ended in an orgy and…the world is Netflix

I’ll hate them forever for cancelling Santa Clarita Diet right when Fillion shows up

The different voices singing the same song for each season…👌

Similarly, money is not the root of evil. Desire to get it no matter what, is.

Just pointing and laughing loudly infuriates the more than anything, they want a tough guy confrontation

That’s just the tray that holds the rack I put the bacon on, it’s supposed to be seasoned in grease