
Yeah, it’s kinda vague. I need to redo it.
The concept was that the entire time “Dean” was involved, there were people already there, hidden from him that were using Alvin for bad things, and Alvin made the neighbors have erotic dreams specifically so that the Authority would catch it and investigate.
So Dean screwed up, and left thinking it was an easy case.
It was supposed to hint at a darker world behind the cheery and light one, sort of a subversion. Don’t know that it worked as written.

Apologies to any brits scrolling through.
“Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”
“Is this where I say ‘shut up’? Not that I expected any useful questions from The Sun, but throwing a random quote at me in lieu of one seems a bit beneath even your standards, Mr Boylen.”
“Well, you do have the sword, yes?”
“I do. It being a rather antiquated item, and quite illegal to just stroll about with, no matter the dangers of rabid tabloid reporters, it stays stored safely. I believe that is all the questions I’ll accept from you, sir.”
“Come now ‘King Arthur’, I’m just the only one willing to ask the real questions that everyone is thinking. You can’t expect us to just swallow this whole thing blind.”
“I see you didn’t ask anything. And it’s Arthur King; I am not royalty in any real sense, and my father’s name is not to be dismissed. Anyone else want to have a go? Yes, Ms Clayton.”
“Well, Mr King, my question is related. You’re seeking a seat in the house of commons. Isn’t that… common when you used to be King Arthur, and bear a rather lovely magic sword that by all known information ties you to the land in a way that makes you more than a king?”
"I don’t believe so, no. Excalibur does give me great authority in many ways. It most assuredly gives me some power as protector of Great Britain. By extension, some degree of power to also protect the full UK exists, though I am still not certain exactly how or why the old me’s realm extended to cover lands quite beyond what he ruled then. My magical advisor has some ideas.
Ms Falcon, care to chime in?"
“NI!”
“Quite good then. Please, ladies and gentlemen, I am pressed for time, so restrain your laughter somewhat.”
“If I may have a follow-up then; why not just take power? Reclaim the throne?”
"Because it isn’t bloody well my throne to take. Don’t forget, until I nearly drowned in Dozmary Pool, I was just Arthur King, a rather humorously named birdwatcher on holiday from his job in an accountancy firm. The sword woke my previous life, but it did not make me him. It also woke several of his associates, those currently incarnated in any case; like my magical advisor here.
This nation is not the kingdom I once ruled and loved. It is an entirely new thing. As am I, I suppose, since I am often unsure where King Arthur ends and Arthur King begins. But one thing I am certain of is that to lead this nation and protect it from the storms coming, attempting to seize power would make that impossible.
No, if we are to survive the coming war, then any position of leadership I have must have, as Mr Boylen so kindly reminded us, the mandate of the masses. Here and now that means a place in the house of commons. A place that I hope to win properly, not by the fact of having a fancy sword.
Next question please."
“Todd Barrett, International Press Association. What happens if you don’t win? Then, do you take power by force?”
"Absolutely not. If I don’t win, well I shall have to find some other way to defend this land. I suspect that will be with the fancy sword, even if it means my death trying to cleave a magic missile in twain. After all, the fancy magical sword isn’t some all powerful artifact. Just damnably difficult to damage and with a degree of that protection extending to its rightful bearer. It certainly didn’t save the old me, and i understand that Morgana’s forces have vast numbers and a great deal of power of their own.
No, if the people do not wish me to lead, then I shall fight for them anyway; alone if need be."