I always chat to scammers when they message me. A lot of them ask for Steam cards and I take immense delight in sending them the “I choo choo choose you” card from The Simpsons. Sad that this is coming to an end.

You’re kinda confirming my pet theory that the “I don’t do small talk” people are all cunts

Kids have always been scared of being awkward and not fitting in, but I can understand why the internet has sent it into overdrive for gen Z. I’ve had younger people use “cringe” as an insult at me, but I’m too old for that to affect me. I just feel pity that they’re so scared of being themselves.

On a more positive note, I know a secondary school teacher who got good results out of saying “Well that’s embarrassing” whenever her pupils were being twats.

There’d have been a lot of litter which I feel I’d have seen. Maybe kids wheeled them far away and then fly-tipped and then wheeled them back.

Ooh this is a fun one. I don’t think I’m nearly interesting enough to warrant something like that. And unfortunately for them I respect WEEE regulations. Also I think they’d have taken my normal rubbish too if this was the case?

One was paper/cardboard and the other was glass/plastic/metal. Which rules out a bonfire theory. Might do some holmesing tomorrow

Yes, they had to open a back gate and they only took 2 of 4 wheelie bins. Couldn’t have been the wind.

What about serial killing

Are you saying you wrote a song and Facebook secretly listened in through your phone and gave the song to your favourite band and they released it? Because that sounds like you have serious mental delusions. This does not happen.

Oh shit

Soo you need more energy to party and keep up with them BUT the key is finding a young one that doesn’t know what a healthy relationship looks like. That way you save on having to put effort into the relationship and support them and all that other stuff you need to do with a mature partner

You can scran some scran (food)

There actually are things keeping that from happening but I don’t want to get into it

Ur mum

I thought only humans went to heaven. It’s a real can of worms otherwise. Do worms go to heaven? Mosquitos? Bacteria? Viruses?

What makes me sad about heaven is that there must be a cutoff in the monkey -> human evolution chain. What happened to the very first human that met that cutoff? They’ll be in heaven but their parents are too monkey and didn’t make it :(

Well I know what to do if my gardener buddy ever pisses me off

I found the article and “Essex Man” seems to be an archetype, not a specific man from Essex. I’ve never heard the term before. Bad headline

I once brought up an additional concern while I was in the room with the GP. He said “you’re not supposed to do two issues in one appointment, but go ahead anyway”

Hooray, you have better security than Apple, who won’t let me use my own email because some idiot in Australia used it first.