Homie I’m sorry that happened.
You might want to do some research on:
- verbal abuse
- narcissistic parent
- low self esteem
This is what I wish someone else told me.
Good luck on your journey
Thanks for the sympathy- my mom hasn’t been very emotionally stable for my whole life. She’s not perfect and sometimes I think she’s wrong, but I know she loves and cares about me
I read a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. My mom is similar, and it gave me a lot of insight into why she behaves the way she does, and how I may have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result. Highly recommend.
I’ll look at it- I care about my mom a ton so it’s hard for me to criticize her. But, I also understand sometimes she doesn’t act in a supportive way
You should at least recognize that you’re holding a double standard here: she’s able to criticize you all she wants yet you know she cares and loves you, but it’s hard for you to criticize her because you care.
That kind of double standard is an unhealthy dynamic that hurts both of you and your relationship with each other. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it was either of your intent for it to be that way, but it has ended up that way regardless of best efforts.
Oh, just because someone is abusive or unsupportive doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. It just means that their interactions aren’t healthy for you and you need to establish boundaries.
Regardless, I hope that you’re doing well. I don’t know what your project is, but I can certainly tell you that it’s much more impressive than anything I’ve made
That’s true, but I feel like the internet is quick to brand people having moments of failure as abusive. Nobody is perfect, and I can’t expect my parents to be perfect. Imo, calling my mom abusive is far too extreme.
Well, and anybody can say or do things that are abusive.
Different people have different levels of tolerance for abusive behavior. The question is, when does it go from, “a person prone to occasional abusive bullshit” to “a person in the habit of committing acts of abuse”?
It’s a lot like addiction in the sense that it’s a sliding scale, but people largely outside of it will freely brand the slightest hint as a full blown catastrophe.
Yes, in this world there is no one who wants what is good for you more than your parents. Many people forget that, if your parents have problems, you need to take care of them.
I don’t agree with this in all cases.
True, parents usually have a deeply ingrained emotional need to protect and nurture their children but:
- Not all parents do. Narcissists have children all the time. When they do, they cloak their emotional vampirism in ‘love’ like they do in all relationships.
- Even parents with the best intentions have to work HARD not to pass on their generational traumas, abuses, and bad habits.
- Only the child can truly know what will fulfill them as a person. Parents often substitute what they wanted for their younger selves for the child’s best interest.
For those still thinking I have no idea what I am talking about and you and your parents are different… please look into “enmeshment” for your own sake
I agree with you on the first one. There are parents who do not deserve to be called parents, and they should be punished.(It’s too complicated to discuss in a paragraph, each case alone, and the future effects on the child…). We live in a sick society. In the case of the OP, it is simple,this is not necessary, and his only task is to take care of his mother to not repeat the mistakes of his parents in the future to break the loop. But I don’t agree with the last one, children don’t know exactly what they want (we the adults don’t know what we want sometimes let alone children) but parents should respect their opinions and guide them and teach them how to make the right decision instead of making the decision for them. Have a good day.
I agree with you on the first one. There are fathers who do not deserve to be called fathers, and they should be punished. (It is too complicated to discuss in a paragraph, each case alone, and the future effects on the child…). We live in a sick society. In the case of the OP, it is simple,this is not necessary, and his only task is to take care of his father and not repeat the mistakes of his fathers in the future to break the cycle. But I don’t agree with the last one, children don’t know exactly what they want (we adults don’t know what we want sometimes let alone children) but parents should respect their opinions and guide them and teach them how to make the right decision instead of making the decision for them. Have a good day.
I’m genuinely just really sorry. 104 stars is awesome for a hobby project, and if she isn’t, I’m proud of that and happy for you :)
But yeah, I’m sorry that she hasn’t appreciated that and reacted in a nice way… and besides that, obviously coding open source is something good for job prospects.Yeah I guess. I’ve only been able to get internships- good internships. But I’ve never been able to get a real job
Well you managed to get the username aidan@lemmy.world before me, so that’s something
haha, yeah and it was only a week ago
I wish you best of luck doing that (when you want to(?)); I hope you’ll be able to get a good job in a field that you enjoy to work within.
Thank you!
Bill Gates was Bill Gates because he had rich parents who got him access to millions of dollars of computer hardware at a time when that was much harder than today. If you’re not Bill Gates it’s on your parents, imo.
That said, 100 stars is great. Keep it up! That’s 100 people who looked at the stuff you’re doing, evaluated it using their expertise, and decided it was good enough work to call attention to.
That part of it, sure, but the guy was good at business and made some smart bets (that the microcomputer industry would explode, for one). Microsoft didn’t get as big as it has based only on their technical ability. They got there because they made the right decisions and were cutthroat against their competitors.
Bill was at the right time and right place, but he was also the right guy. You gotta have them all.
Cutthroat is an understatement. He did a lot of illegal stuff in the USA and internationally because governments had no idea how he was exploiting them/breaking commercial law. He also bribed hundreds of governments and stifled innovation. The world would be a better place without him.
Got any source for that? That’s in pretty stark contrast to what I see him doing now with the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.
Keep in mind one of the biggest parts of Bill and Melinda Gates foundation is funding Charter Schools (a type of private school). The foundation is so large they functionally set the curriculum in our school system (since schools that don’t follow their curriculum don’t get funding).
It’s not about charity, it’s about privatization and control.
No, they don’t set the curriculum, and charter schools are still free- also, generally from my experience public schools aren’t exactly bastions of good curriculum
I don’t see how funding education is a bad thing, and I don’t believe the Gates Foundation is intent on controlling things. It’s not like they get any equity for their donations.
I’ll be honest, I had to look up what it even means to be a charter school, since they don’t exist in Canada (except for Alberta apparently). I’m not sure I agree with their weird public/private position for accountability, but I certainly don’t equate donating money to them as wanting control and privatization. Charter schools are also funded by tax dollars anyway.
Charter schools are a bit of a hot topic in the US right now because the GOP is pushing them really hard. There are pros and cons - it’s a complicated issue.
Sure, but that’s how business works when you’re as big a company as Microsoft. And he was good at it.
I never said he was a nice guy, only that he was good at business.
Choosing to play is still immoral even if that’s how the game works.
I never said he was moral, either.
So I agree that’s how it works with businesses under Anglo-Saxon style capitalism, but I disagree with that’s how it works across the world with large companies. There are large multinational corporations that are ethical. Not as successful in profitability as Microsoft, but they are more successful ethically and better for society.
I’d argue that American and some Western European companies are much more ethical than African child labor mines, Chaebol, and Zaibatsu
I’d argue that too. Empirically en aggregate though.
Quite possibly. I wouldn’t know. Either way, Microsoft is an American company and plays by (or subverts, or writes) American rules.
Money is power. Get enough of either and you get corruption. Some people fight the system, some people learn to profit off it. If it doesn’t work that way in other parts of the world, then it’s because their systems work differently than ours.
Edit: quite possibly, not quit possibly. I’m a touch typist. I type every day. So why does my typing get worse with age?
Yes, what you’re describing is called the “Social Structure of Accumulation” in Political Economic theory.
It’s easy to make some smart bets when you can make many bets and fail over and over and not become destitute.
True, but he didn’t.
Bill Gates did have some business expertise, yes.
Wow. This pretty much constitutes verbal abuse. I’m sorry you had to hear all that. And hey, I’m happy for you!
My mother told me to make Facebook. I tried explaining Facebook already existed, but it was no use.
You can run a Friendica instance and act like you invented it. My family was impressed when I “made my own Netflix” with a Plex server lol.
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You can still make Facebook, you just need to register it on a domain they haven’t claimed. Then get sued and live in a box for the rest of your life while paying Zuck your bucks for trademark infringement.
Yeah, I have a little bit of that problem too. Then she says “I didn’t mean it exactly, just something like it”
I want you to just make a house! Well, obviously not a house like this brick house, but something like it…
I’ve got a 60 star project on github. Some people have left some very nice feedback about how useful my code has been for them as a Linux alternative to a Windows program. I’m proud of my little bit of code, even if it hasn’t earned me a single cent (nor do I have expectations for it to)!
Nice that is really cool to have feedback from people using your creation
Drop the github fam I’d love to take a look
I’d love to but I would dox myself here which I don’t want to do. I’ll say this much: it is a thing where if you have looked for Linux alternatives of the Windows version, there is a small chance you’ve found my code already :)
Did you make a Linux hotdog stand theme??
Haha. Is there a demand for that from old timer windows 2.0 users? That stuff is before my time :)
104 stars is damn impressive… can’t compare github stars to low effort social media likes!
Yeah, although the thing that makes me the most happy is actually seeing stuff I made being used.
What sort of stuff do you make?
Very random projects but my two most starred are a JS package for using the Google Translate API for free, and a JS project that scrapes a ton of traffic camera data from local government websites.
Dude, I’m over here hyped as fuck when the same 12 bots download every single commit. You guys are getting stars? Lol
Someone used to periodically fork my repo of a college assignment and change all the text to Chinese. I assume they were stealing it but I don’t know. I think their name was spikerman but I’m probably misremembering.
Thanks for your service to the Chinese 🫡
There’s been so much tankie discourse that when I saw this in my inbox I genuinely thought someone was accusing me of being a shill for the Chinese government or something lmao.
Apparently the Chinese government has created their own “home grown” OS which apparently took 10 years and thousands of programmers and is basically just Ubuntu underneath
I’m proud of you!! That’s huge. You should give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. Verifiable progress and it’s only up from here, keep it up :)
Honestly I don’t know- I’ve been very lazy and lacking motivation for while so it’s kinda going down
I would lack motivation too if I grew up with a mom like that. You need to eject her talk from your head. Every day you wake up a new person and whatever had happened earlier is nothing but memories. Begin again. You’re free, and life is full of opportunities.
That’s not why I don’t have motivation.
That’s 102 stars more than my best… Nicely done :)
At least his heinously critical mom still looks young, I guess 🤷
Although most would probably count it as a negative that she looks to be the same age as her son.
Or maybe it’s an unintended aspect of the art style and I should stop overanalysing everything like a goddamn moron, like MY mom keeps telling me 😉
I think there is definitely so time traveling going on here.
Yo why is this so relatable
so we have shared suffering
What’s the GitHub link boss?
I wasn’t actually referencing 1 project but the sum of 4(but most of the stars are in one)- so here’s my profile
Very cool
I’m going to try the immersive language one. That sounds so cool!
Thanks! Lmk what you think and if you have questions
Is it this one? https://github.com/microsoft/tilecode
Xd, I don’t work for microsoft- but good job finding a repo with exactly 104 stars
It doesn’t mean anything, but I am happy for you.
Thanks I appreciate it
