Reading the web and watching the YouTube’s yields a plethora of little attention hacks that apparently really help people with their ADHD, but leave me feeling completely alienated because absolutely none of them work for me. In fact, I just don’t even implement them, just sort of eye them suspisciously from a distance.
It feels a little reminscent of the advice I’d get for depression in that the bulk of advice seems targetted towards people with less severe forms, and both writers and readers can say, “Wow! Thanks! This really worked for me!”
The feeling that I had earlier that, “OK, now I have a diagnosis, I can start treating the problem” is evaporating away I’m left with a despair that comes from having a version of ADHD that is seemingly not treatable and not work-aroundable and is actually and irrevocably debilitating.
Getting an eval in a week
Edit: If anyone has resources for severe ADHD instead of this Stephen Covery organizational bullshit, please drop it in the comments.
For me it was medication. M doc gave me methylphenidate and lisdexamphetamine to try and there was stark difference in effectiveness between the two for me. I am now constantly on the latter.
I was afraid that it would make me addicted, that I would stop being me, that it would give me high blood pressure… none of these things are true. Sometimes I even forget to take it, there is no physical (and for me no mental) addiction at all. It has helped me tremendously, I can hold a job now, I do my chores without needing to be fully invested or motivated… Honestly, it has changed my life.
I hope that you can explore that route too. Best of luck to you!
I’ve tried all kinds of meds already. They help me focus, but they don’t help me choose the focus. The things I didn’t want to do still didn’t end up getting done and I ended up doing the high-dopamine value things I was going to do anyway (internet, games), and i just did a lot more of them with fewer interruptions.