Idk I think I just realized that everything is going to be ok if I can just completely sever my emotional connection to the community and landscape around me!

It is my negativity that has been holding me back this whole time!

edit Now that I am happy, looking back what I needed wasn’t material help, rather my survivor bias prefers to focus on my previous lack of work ethic in order to craft a story of redemption from a retconned sudden realization that I could just magically be happy if I let go of the parts of reality that challenged my happiness bubble!