Emotional intelligence, that gives me the strength to not get all up in my emotions, about everything, like poor younger me did. And probably how strong and agile I still am at 49. Younger me was always super strong and impressed with that stuff. And maybe the strength to choose myself, first, that one, I’m still working on. That’s the one I’ll be impressed future me has.
I am able to run the entire household on my own.
I haven’t had a panic attack in years.
That’s excellent work well done! How did you do it?
A combined ~5 years of therapy across 3 different therapists including CBT and somatic therapy.
I can stand up for myself. I could never do that when I was young
probably my computer skills - growing up I was very reliant on my dad to fix & manage the household computers, and after the divorce he refused to lend that help to our family anymore, so from a young age I lived in a state of anxiety about computers that I just no longer have - at one point my mom communicated awe at my computer skills and it really struck an emotional chord with me that I’m no longer that anxious kid stumbling blindly through problems that felt too big for me to solve
still, fuck my parents for putting me in that position, shame on them
