I’ve seen a lot of, girls and women specifically online, claim they’re “soft-hearted” or “cute and kind” but be extremely racist, anti-even documented immigration, say that other cultures don’t deserve a home, and call trans people “not people”. And more.
Judge by actions, not words.
Because the kinds of people who are racist and bigoted are also hypocrites, liars, and grifters.
Because we judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intent.
I think people are like this by default and it takes work to figure out your own blindspots and correct for them. Some people just never get there.
I think most people who describe themselves in a positive way in general are using it as a facade. I am an ally, I do my best at it, but I am a cis het male born in the 70s raised in a rural farming community. I make mistakes in the things I say, and I as such I only ever say I do my best to be an ally, because I know inevitably I will make a mistake, but I do my best to learn from those mistakes and never make them again.
Think of the hippie/punk comparison, hippies look friendly and welcoming, but are some of the meanest, most judgmental people. While punks look mean and gruff, but are some of the nicest most welcoming people.
It’s one of my rules of thumb for life that people never state the obvious, except about the weather. People who are soft-hearted, cute and kind never have to say it, because they show it by being soft-hearted, cute and kind. The only reason to say it is because it’s not obvious (read: not actually true). It saves a lot of time and grief once you realize the pattern, because you can cut such people out of your life when they make the claim rather than wait to find out the truth.
As to why people are hard-hearted, ugly and mean, well, best explanation that I’ve heard is that it’s due to a deep self-hatred and fear of not being good enough, so they constantly need to tear other people down so that they can feel like they’re better than somebody.
Nobody wants to think of themselves as a bigoted ass-face with the empathy of a black hole.
So if someone holds views that are harsh, they MUST frame themselves as a good person who tELlS iT LiKE It IS. Otherwise they would be a bad person, and since they can’t be a bad person their views must be good!
This one right here! It’s easier to convince yourself that bad things are good, than to accept you might be evil.
People who talk about who they are will not be the person they are talking about. People are how they act to the vulnerable.
