The intro:

Do you know how you prefer to give and receive love? Do you need words of affirmation? Spending quality time? Acts of service? Gifts? Or physical touch?

Figuring out what your “love language” is has become one of the most successful relationship ideas of the past two decades.

Why? Because the idea is simple, flattering and easy to apply.

Introduced by Gary Chapman, an American Baptist pastor, author and marriage counsellor, in his 1992 book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, the idea is now a dominant framework in modern relationship advice.

While incredibly popular and often used as a “go-to” tool on first dates, recent research suggests that the idea lacks strong scientific evidence for its central claims.

Instead of scientific theory, love languages function like a culturally appealing system that individualizes relational strain, obscures power and substitutes a checklist for the harder work of understanding how relationships actually function over time.