This hurts.
My wife kept all my old letters very similarly. A few shoeboxes of hand written messages and photos. I always loved that, even if she never went back in there
Married 20 years this August.
I recently caught her in an affair where she claimed she was truly in love. She said she hasn’t been “in love” with me for most of our marriage and has constantly cheated even before we were married.
She wants us to stay together “as friends” until our girls are both graduated, in 6 years.
I am so, so sorry. Would you like me to remove this? Ugh. As someone also going through shitty relationship problems I sure feel for you.
Also, she is doing what is called monkey branching with you. She does not want to be friends, she wants to keep you as a backup plan. This is what borderlines and narcissists do, and even though Reddit is awful, probably reading the BPDlovedones or LifeAfterNarcissism subreddits will help you get perspective on what she is. They will lie to your face and constantly seek someone higher status or that makes them feel more important behind your back. Obviously I don’t know her, but I bet you’d find many things that resonate. I also have book recommendations for you if you feel this fits, and please PM me anytime if you need support. I’m going through pure-D hell with my ex.
You don’t need to remove, though I appreciate the offer.
Facing it, even if it is just a bit at a time helps.
I like that it reflects the complex nature of us and that we are so much a part of the lives we touch.
It’s hard to face. It’s hard to feel most of all that you wasted your time and love on someone who isn’t at all who you thought they were.
A woman I know slightly only through Facebook, her husband out of nowhere posted a video of her cheating on him. This woman seemed like a well brought up honest person with lovely children and a very middle class nice life, Christian, who has a mother who is the most saintly honest devoted generous person on earth, and yet here she was kissing an old friend. Not a nice thing to post but I get how shocked and hurt he is, and it’s a terrible thing to do to your spouse, and then lie to everyone in your life. Fish or cut bait, as my ex says.
Well, my ex spent yesterday morning yelling at me for buying carrots and celery, so at least you aren’t being yelled at for buying vegetables and having to live with a sociopath.
I appreciate the words and support. I’m still trying to figure out who I even am anymore.
You’re you. She just wasn’t what she said she was. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, I’m sure you made the same human blunders we all do, but there is nothing that you did that made her do this, and you didn’t pick her to do this to you. They seek you out because they sense that they can do this to you.