Okay so… I am a trans person so this is coming from the other side and mostly from friends who are both not married and who do pass better but one of the things I have noticed about some gay men is that they do not want us in their spaces. If they decide you are cute and come over… Well at some point if the flirtation progresses past a point we as trans people have a consent problem on our hands because anybody who gets with us shouldn’t be surprised about what downstairs situation we got going and when during an interaction to have that conversation is kind of… Never great. Some gay guys react to trans men with the same volitile disgust straight guys do towards trans women. It’s a reaction like we cheated them by wasting their effort.

Also a lot of gay guys, hate to say it, are kind of misogynistic. They get treated as ‘not man enough’ by straights and turn that around on other targets. I am very lucky to have gay buddies who if the club doesn’t want me there will just pick a different club but we’ve definitely been spooked out of some places.