The creeping despair cloud has come for me.

been really enjoying contributing and connecting on Beehaw and Lemmy in general. Trying to do some reading and playing through Diablo 4!

It’s starting to get pretty hot where I live, gonna have to bust out the AC units soon at this rate.

Fucking ugh. This week is just ugh. Our landlady has brain cancer (our rent is currently about half what apartments are going for in our city, they doubled during covid) and I’m not sure if she’s passed or not but her adult son has taken over the building with his wife and as of Tuesday have given us notice that at the end of the month we’ll get a letter giving us 60 days to move out (month to month lease). We just had a second child in January. They’re kicking us out with a five month old so they can renovate our apartment and charge double.

So instead of paying a ridiculous amount to rent somewhere again we’re attempting to buy a house, but the housing market up here is super tight and they’re all going way over asking price within days. I don’t know what we’re gonna do if we can’t find something suitable in the next week or two so we have time to get this all done in time to move. We do have really good credit and enough to close, but finding one that isn’t a failed flip or looks like it’s from the 70s or isn’t snatched up immediately is wearing on me.

Everything needs to line up and it’s just not right now. I haven’t cried yet so I guess that’s alright.

Not going well but I am not without hope either.

My mom didn’t get approved for social assistance so I’m crunching numbers on our budget for the next month or so.

Brought out the instant pot and made some nice black beans, which I turned into black bean burgers. 😋

Switched from Pop OS to Linux Mint, liking the experience so far. Not as cute as Pop OS was, but I like the interface and the battery alerts and sound effects. So it’s not bad.

Pretty good! Started off with a morning at playcentre, afternoon doing a shift at the toy library, and finished off by giving a presentation at the community council meeting. Got my community garden proposal through to the next phase (regional council). Got overwhelming support from my presentation at the community council meeting and feeling really good about it. First structural edit meeting for the book I’ve been working on is Thursday and I’m really happy with how that’s all going too. Early stages of getting a library of tools/community workspace organised.

Just in a really good place right now and I feel like I’m actually getting somewhere with my goals.

First week into rTMS treatment for depression. Been struggling a lot recently but know that I’ll start feeling better in 2-3 weeks, so there’s a light at the end of the tunnel (I’ve done this treatment 2x now, and know it really helps me… But only lasts 4-5 months).

Have a driving test tomorrow that would normally be a piece of cake, but I’m so depressed it’s difficult to drive. This is the last possible test before I lose my license… I kept on putting it off (because, depression). Hoping I pass!

It’s been a pretty decent week for me. I am enjoying that Beehaw is low enough traffic still that it’s quite possible to read through all the new local post titles as they come in. It’s fun watching the community grow. Reminds me a bit of early Twitter days when the entire global timeline was small.

Back in the real world, I got two days out at Lake Patoka over the weekend, and I’m off tomorrow morning for two days backpacking in the Shawnee NF. Gotta enjoy this good weather while I can!

i have a project at work and the guys i got it from somehow ended up adding like 3 other things to it.

the initial thing was they have a hydraulic valve that only has full open, full close actions. this open close action had no “automatic” speed control of fluid so they want a valve that has proportional control. (open 10%, for example.) somehow, there’s a $25k machine being added in front of the work i was supposed to do so now instead of just adding a valve, i’m adding a valve and adopted a whole automated process on a machine build in 1950, and a controller technology from 1987.

we dont have all the parts. supply chains suck ass. obviously the controller from 1987 is discontinued so im mixing new tech and old tech with half ass communication and there’s another project im finishing for someone that moved up, trying to translate prints from a whole rebuild of something coming up on a july 4th shutdown event and it’s really stressful.

i’m a relatively new tech and there’s a handful of engineers that stare at contractors all day, walk around and try and determine downtime causes and other useless bullshit that can be solved by someone with less of an education, and im supposed to respond to breakdowns, train a new guy, still learn myself, and work on projects that cost $100,000 in parts and labor that these guys should be working on instead of wasting the time they’re doing now.

i love doing what im doing but i literally cant do all the things that’s being expected. thanks for listening.

I celebrated Juneteenth with a friend by going to the city, visiting a cool history exhibit, getting sandwiches and boba, and walking 11k steps!

Also played in a DnD session and GMed for another one, which was fun.

It’s going alright! Just been relaxing since I graduated and will start my full-time gig next month, pretty excited about that. I’m also just curating my RSS feed cause I didn’t realize how much I would love them so much lol. Loving Beehaw, lemmy and the lemmyverse in general!

Today is my Friday. Tomorrow’s agenda is an oil change, and visiting mom. We’ll see how the rest of it shakes out, but some Elder Scrolls Online or Skyrim is gonna happen.

There has been thunderstorms here almost every day since last week, and one of those thunderstorms was making the sky look like a rave. Aside from that, my week’s been going good.

I’m having (or am going to have) some pretty serious personal issues, so that’s pretty bad.
But on the bright side, I had fun playing DnD on the weekend and I opened my first ever open source PR on Lemmy

Well Beehaw has been a lot of fun. though I dont feel like i fit in, I’m learning a bunch. Just in a weird place. Im learning Jetpack compose with kotlin and although im understanding everything. i feel like a loser, and imposter syndrom. there is no way Im smart enough to code and develop applications. Im pretty much only skilled at delivering bear minimum stuff. My wife and I decided to try for a baby, but so far we’ve only managed to argue about petty things that dont matter.

Things are just weird because theres so much uncertainty in the next few months of where we will be. I just need to lead with my head on strait.