Got lucky with a girl I met through a friend’s girlfriend that I am absolutely in love with but I couldn’t get it up when things got heated. Stayed over at hers but didn’t even get morning wood the day after, only semis over night. Also haven’t had a boner for 3 days now.

She’s actually texted me back more than once after the incident, so I think she might still be ok wil me, but I feel like I should apologise or something. I don’t want to force things but I also don’t want to lose her. Should I apologise?

Also I’ve looked at porn for like 13 years and was getting unwanted hard ons with no effort literally the same week this happened. And I tried looking at porn later (to check if it was porn brain) and my dick remained soft until I touched it (even then it wasn’t like like it nromally is). WTF? Could I have got ED literally the one time I was on the verge of getting laid? Safe to say, I will not be looking at porn again.

  • @masquenox@lemmy.world
    24•8 months ago

    absolutely in love with

    Sounds like you’re on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and it’s messing with your head - which in turn will mess with your dick’s behavior.

    Newsflash - not being ready for sex is not some form of modern-day leprosy (no matter what the rape-apologist brigade says).

    Real life intimacy is not something you can learn from porn - you can only learn it by doing (note that I didn’t say doing it). It sounds to me like you have an idea in your head of how these things should go that isn’t matching up with reality - if I were you, I’d rather sacrifice the former rather than the latter.

    It’s not the porn - porn is just fantasy. It’s your expectations of yourself that’s the problem. You need to let that go. Not being ready for sex is not something you need to apologize for - but you need to learn how to be open about this stuff. She obviously still want to talk to you, and you should.