Got lucky with a girl I met through a friend’s girlfriend that I am absolutely in love with but I couldn’t get it up when things got heated. Stayed over at hers but didn’t even get morning wood the day after, only semis over night. Also haven’t had a boner for 3 days now.
She’s actually texted me back more than once after the incident, so I think she might still be ok wil me, but I feel like I should apologise or something. I don’t want to force things but I also don’t want to lose her. Should I apologise?
Also I’ve looked at porn for like 13 years and was getting unwanted hard ons with no effort literally the same week this happened. And I tried looking at porn later (to check if it was porn brain) and my dick remained soft until I touched it (even then it wasn’t like like it nromally is). WTF? Could I have got ED literally the one time I was on the verge of getting laid? Safe to say, I will not be looking at porn again.
I appreciate the kind words, but I have to push back on two things you said.
First, there is no established link between porn and negative outcomes for health or sex or any of it. That’s a moral panic that has existed since the first sex workers, so basically since the dawn of commerce.
Secondly, the friend zone isn’t a thing. Most meaningful relationships I’ve had have started out as friendships and stayed that way for a while before anything changed. The key to changing things is to tell the person you like them. You can flirt if you want but you’re going to have to make a move at some point. It’s really that simple. If you hang around them as a friend hoping and waiting for “something to happen”, then it won’t, because they won’t realise you want more.
I know there are no studies regarding porn and sex drive, but it can desensitize you. Speaking from experience here (and I know that’s anecdotal). Not saying it breaks your equipment or anything. To quote my doctor, “at the end of the day, an erection is arousal + hydraulics, basically.”
Masturbating too much can desensitise you and I definitely agree with abstaining for a day or so if you want to make sure you’re ready for a partner. It really doesn’t have much to do with porn use though. I think it’s important to separate those two concepts and not use porn as a proxy for talking about masturbation.