• Dr. Wesker
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    10 months ago
    HANKY PANKY
    
    On Sunday evening, local resident Hank was spotted dining at the neigborhood Grapplebee's, with an unidentified woman. The two were observed occasionally feeding each other pork rinds during the course of the meal.
    
    When asked if she was aware of Hank's whereabouts that evening, Brenda replied,
    
    "HE SAID HE WAS AT THE DARN TOOTIN' V.A. OFFICE! HE AIN'T NEVER TENDERLY FED ME ANY VITTLES LIKE THAT!"
    
    • @pmjvOP
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      310 months ago

      Hank's son Brank is yet to comment, but his semi-sentient baby sitters said: "Us [machine] girls all lust after Hank, haha. His wife is just jealous of our skinny processors!" These allegations come at a very opportune time, as the governor is about to announce his statement on man-machine marriage.

      • Dr. Wesker
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        310 months ago

        Brank really is the victim in all of this. Poor kid.

        I hope Hank can see the error of his ways, and he and Brenda are able to reconcile.

        They probably could benefit from some marriage counseling, to try to work through things.

        There’s a really great counselor in town named Dr. Sbaitso. He’s a bit old fashioned, but his approach to therapy is always Creative.