So I sent my boss and his boss an email stating that I felt overwhelmed and in over my head. I requested a talk to go over my options and assured them that I was still committed to the company and my mission.

HUGE MISTAKE.

If you’ve ever been in a situation where you think you’ll be able to count on the basic decency and humanity of people you’ve worked your ass off for for years… don’t.

I found out the following:

-despite the company’s EBITDA rising exponentially year over year, the “company isn’t doing too well” (but they do have budget to outright buy out our competitors in order to create a quasi-monopoly) and all teams’ budgets are under strain this year (read: no raises no matter your performance)

-my direct superior, whom I’ve begged for extra guidance/trainings for the past three years, is apparently completely fed up with me and these requests and has wanted to fire me for over a year now.

-only reason I haven’t been fired yet is simply because no one else wants to do this job. But they are still looking for a (cheaper) replacement

-his superior is slightly more amenable and, although a few years ago he called me “the absolute best of his CSR’s”, feels like “I’ve grown apart from the company”. Yeah, no shit sherlock. That’s what I’m trying to address here

-They feel it would be best if I went looking for employment elsewhere as they “don’t really see a future for me in the current company structure”.

All in all, the tall grass stands out (for mowing).

Regardless, it’s crystal clear that I’ve now painted a(n extra) target on my back, and would’ve been much better off stewing on my own rather than call attention to myself in any way. Lesson learned. Don’t make my mistake, just STFU, act like all’s well and look for other employment in silence.