A former model who was a finalist in the Miss Switzerland contest was allegedly murdered and “pureed” in a blender by her husband, officials in Switzerland are reported to have said.

Kristina Joksimovic, 38, was found dead in her home in Binningen, near Basel, Switzerland, in February this year.

According to local news outlet BZ Basel, a man named Thomas, 41, had an appeal for release from custody denied by the Federal Court in Lausanne on Wednesday after he reportedly confessed to killing his wife, with whom he had two children.

  • FuglyDuck
    link
    fedilink
    English
    43 months ago

    Start with a wood chipper.

    Saw that in a movie once.

    • @nomous@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      13 months ago

      Yeah but that sprays evidence everywhere, best to find a deep, dark, cold lake somewhere.

      • @Omgpwnies@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        13 months ago

        If you can get the body out to international waters over a particularly deep section of ocean maybe… not gonna trust a lake to not betray me

        Unless it’s the big lake Gitche Gumee in November… then you’re golden

        • FuglyDuck
          link
          fedilink
          English
          13 months ago

          Lake Superior is deep enough. but it’s cold enough the corpse won’t go away anytime soon.

          I imagine you can fit a wood chipper into a boat and then take care of all the problems that way.

    • @Tikiporch@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      13 months ago

      You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute.

      Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.