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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No_Spare_4582 on 2023-07-24 14:10:33.
I (23m) have been with my current company for a year now. Recently, a new guy (Jack) joined our team fresh out of college.
Last Friday my manager invited everyone to a bar after work. There, Jack told everyone about an achievement that he obtained over spring break: he visited his 150th country (Cambodia). In contrast to everyone else, who were asking things such as “What was the best/worst/strangest thing you ate,” “Which countries were your favorite,” and “Any cool stories,” I just said “Good for you” and went back to my drink. Jack noticed me being quiet and asked me why I wasn’t joining in. I said “Don’t worry about me” but Jack kept pressing the issue.
I finally said “Jack, visiting 150 countries is cool and all but it doesn’t say anything about you as a person. It just means you had rich parents who could afford to travel internationally several times a year.” (I grew up poor, (literally) worked my ass off in high school, got a full ride merit scholarship, and did everything humanly possible to land my current 6-figure job. Rich people who think they’re better than everyone else just because they had rich parents is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. But my coworkers don’t know any of that, since I like to keep work and my personal life as separated as possible.)
Jack got really quiet after that and left soon afterwards. Now it’s Monday morning and I’m wondering if I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.
My opinion is that perhaps you shouldn’t have mentioned that to him. While it’s true that money can provide more opportunities, I believe it’s more of a systemic issue rather than solely Jack’s fault. Traveling can be a meaningful way to spend money compared to buying unnecessary things. Also, maybe Jack is aware of his luck and understands that others may not be as fortunate. From the way you described the conversation, he didn’t seem to be acting superior to others. I know some wealthy people who actually feel the opposite, thinking they are worse off because they took an easier path in life. I understand your frustration, and it’s valid to address it towards the system rather than directing it solely at one individual who may share similar opinions to yours from a different perspective.