I am low on money these days and my life is hell for it. I have to do with substandard everything in my life I recently had an incident where an elderly woman asked me for money while roaming the street with her family begging for money. I had no money to spare, but had I had any, I wouldn’t have given a penny to her (Life is tough, I can’t give away money I didn’t earn)

But, she later said something which melted my heart, “Majboori hai beta!” (Hindi) “We don’t want to do this, but we have to do it son” (now add some emotional value to it), I didn’t know what to do, I was on my cycle and I could feel their eyes on me as I passed them and I just peddled faster with teary eyes.

I didn’t know how to deal with that. i.e., I don’t have enough money for medical necessities or to improve the standard of living of my own life, but I was being asked to spare change by a poor family that was demonstrably in a worse spot than me.

I was always taught that if you give beggars money, they will spend it all on alcohol (not blaming them), and given the number of beggars who have come to be smelling like alcohol and death with wobbly balance, it has been a rule not to provide them with money. Also, let’s not forget, if you’re really poor (homeless and have nothing to lose) and you are really desperate, you are often dangerous i.e., not someone around whom your kids can roam, again, not blaming them. But… I don’t know what is right or wrong in this situation!

How do you deal with external problems you can’t solve around you? What is the moral thing to do here?

edit: This kinda reminds of a story about Jesus where a prince once came to him and told him that he isn’t at peace with himself no matter what he does, and Jesus told him that to get peace he must give away everything to the poor and follow Jesus around and the prince refused (something along those lines).

I know what the most moral thing might be in this case, but even if you tell me that I should give money to those who live in abject poverty, I probably won’t do it as often as I should.

  • Elise
    7•5 months ago

    There’s ways to help without sacrificing what little you have to yourself. A simple greeting and acknowledgement go a long way. Don’t be afraid to interact and to just say no, I’ve never had a bad experience with that.

    You could provide information, or something that’s often needed. For example get a large pack of white long diabetic socks and hand those out. If you’re homeless you often can’t take off your shoes, so you’re always wearing them. The socks change color if something is wrong.

    Personally I don’t mind it if someone spends money on drugs or alcohol. I’d do the same thing in their position. It’s best to just be kind and respectful.

    But if it really bothers you then go for gift cards or just go shopping with them. Giving food without asking is generally not so helpful. Also keep in mind that in a lot of places people need a bit of actual cash to actually be able to sleep somewhere. For example here in the NL it’s 7.50 a night. So even if you are bothered by the potential drug usage, just think of the chance that they might just as well spend it on sleeping in a safe and warm place.