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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 18th, 2023

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  • I’ve had a couple of those situations. In all cases it was a friend that I ended up getting horny with, and then we figured “why not?”. In all cases, the answer turned out to be that shit quickly gets complicated when people develop new feelings because they’re sleeping together.

    Frankly, I have no issue with polyamorous people, but I honestly can’t understand how they get it to work. Every time I’ve slept with someone repeatedly over an extended period of time, it ended up fundamentally changing our relationship to the point where being with anyone else became an implicit no-go. I have no explanation for exactly why but those feelings just developed, no matter how much we promised each other they wouldn’t, and pretended they didn’t.


  • Good luck man… I’ve been through a couple of these variants but with my (current) SO of quite some time I feel like I’ve found the center. That doesn’t mean it’s never complicated, but it means we’ve learned to deal with and work through a lot of complicated stuff. I honestly believe the most important ingredient in getting to that center is the will to see the best in each other and work through whatever life throws your way.





  • Very well written piece! I think she makes a very good point writing about how women in the military need to be valued as actual soldiers, not just “tokens” or “symbols”.

    Around half the population consists of women, and they have the same right to fight for their freedom as any man. Not only that, there are plenty of combat positions where women are at least as capable as men. A well functioning military needs to understand that and try to give every soldier the opportunity to work with the tasks they do best: That includes valuing women as actual agents of resistance, not just symbols to boost morale.




  • On one level I agree with what you’re saying. On a different one I really dislike the “just do it” attitude, when we’re dealing with software that has been engineered to be extremely addictive. Of course, you could tell a heroine addict or meth-head that they need to “just decide to quit”, but it’s well established that that doesn’t usually help much. Of course, it’s true that, bottom line, they “just” need to quit. However it’s reductionist to the point of no longer being helpful to suggest that as a solution in itself.

    With e.g. social media (and other addictions) we should be doing more than just putting it on the individual to cut out their addiction. After all, they’re just an individual that’s fighting a huge for-profit industry that’s set up around keeping them addicted. Asking them to fight that battle alone is setting them up to fail.


  • Yeah look if we really are seeing diagnoses suddenly rise, and it’s not just “a better telescope”, maybe it is worth considering exploring environmental causes, diagnostic criteria, societal tolerance of certain traits etc. That’s fair.

    Thanks for making an effort to understand what I’m trying to get at here. Honestly, this is like my primary point and I appreciate that you’re recognising it. It can get tiresome to discuss with people that never seem to understand that you have good intentions, thank you for seeing mine.

    What concerns me about your responses is that “investigating why diagnoses are increasing” is used all the time to cast doubt on ADHD itself.

    And I absolutely agree that that’s a big problem. My point is concerning when the same sentence is used in the positive, constructive, sense that this is clearly something we as a society need to look more closely at, because something is very obviously wrong on either an environmental or societal level if a large fraction of the population needs medication in order to function properly.







  • That is correct. However, an LLM and a rubber duck have in common that they are inanimate objects that I can use as targets when formulating my thoughts and ideas. The LLM can also respond to things like “what part of that was unclear”, to help keep my thoughts flowing. NOTE: The point of asking an LLM “what part of that was unclear” is NOT that it has a qualified answer, but rather that it’s a completely unqualified prompt to explain a part of the process more thoroughly.

    This is a very well established process: Whether you use an actual rubber duck, your dog, writing a blog post / personal memo (I do the last quite often) or explaining your problem to a friend that’s not at all in the field. The point is to have some kind of process that helps you keep your thoughts flowing and touching in on topics you might not think are crucial, thus helping you find a solution. The toddler that answers every explanation with “why?” can be ideal for this, and an LLM can emulate it quite well in a workplace environment.