One time a bouncer took my friend’s actual ID. He just got a bug up his ass or something and started taking all out of state IDs. He’s like “well, call the cops if you want it back” thinking we wouldn’t. So I had to call the cops which was super annoying.

Look at the turd cutter on you

There aren’t any actual flash games, though, since flash itself is long dead

Evil ages poorly I guess

I don’t know what everyone’s on about. I’m pretty sure this is explained in the first launch tutorial. You press power and volume up at the same time.

Meh. Fuck the state.

I don’t think the casket would bow under her heel like that if it was real. I think it’d be real hard wood.

Yup. “That’s not on me! Your email was compromised! That’s between your email provider and you!”

The long forgotten neutral

“We don’t think you should die because you’re gay. It’s because you’re poor.”

Any suggestion of effective tactics to remove the president are met with removal.

It’s not legal.

It bothers me

Hurrah for pumpkins!

She isn’t worthy

Accountant: “How the fuck do we have shrinkage on a door!?”

Any answer that doesn’t make this the main point is off the mark.

“We have peace prize at home”

“We got very inebriated, and we did what Marines on liberty do, and we decided to go get a tattoo. We went to a tattoo parlor in Split, Croatia. We chose a terrifying-looking skull and crossbones off the wall … a pretty standard military thing,”

and you did not, at any point in this “skull and crossbones” endeavor, have your “are we the baddies” moment?

Same. You know what’s a hassle? Seeing a doctor. You know what’s not? Sleeping.