11·
3 days agoIf it was only a sip, you should be alright, small bit of gas maybe.
If it was a full glass of bean-water you’re gonna want to get some activated charcoal and a whole lot of gatorade.
Zoift [he/him]
- 36 Posts
- 486 Comments
Joined 5 years ago
Cake day: September 12th, 2020
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4·3 days agoI was reaching up a GI the other day actually.
8·7 days agoDMT is pretty neat, very interesting ride, can find out some things about yourself, meet 4D fractal megabeasts in conversation, become flayed across time to become an art gallery for god. Unpredictable, but so are dreams, and you’re smoking dream crystals.
Dont know of a single hallucinogen that is addictive, quite unlike cocaine.
7·1 month agoOh shit, we swapping IRA singalongs?
3·1 month agoKayfabe is fickle, but his time will come again
The concept is nice, but its a little lonely. What if we anthropomorphized the shame and discomfort that the clown-burgers provides as a purple, clay-lumped grotesque? Something the kids can really relate to.
19·1 month agoI know you are here to grill me. Chew, coward, you are only going to vore a man.
Cause black holes don’t gravitate, but the event horizon does. Black holes dont really have volume in a way thats meaningful to us, but they do have a surface area, and thats what you can interact with.
You’re correct anything past an event horizon cannot interact with us, for all intents and purposes it doesnt exist. So all the interactions you associate with a black hole are interactions with the event horizon itself.
“Gooning this” & “gooning that”, read the literature liberals. Whacking off is solved theory, Just build a metal & wood veneer box to jack it in. Orgone theory has already spelled all this out for over 100 years.
I’m dumb as hell and thought those were marshmallows at first. Not sure if that is better or worse
You say fuck off now, but wait till you get them in the ground. Then you got slugs and cutworms all over your peps and you’ll wish you had a conveniently portable toad.
22·2 months agoGod gave Noah a rainbow sign
No more water
Fire next time
If ur ever chased by a vampire, stop running immediately and start pissing all over the floor. The vampire will have to stop and count the drips, and cant cross running water anyways
“Socialist”
Incapable of healthy socializing
16·2 months agoThe train in question:
That’s a pentacle, Usually a protective or binding ward. The button takes you to the original instance the poster is from, but its shaped like that to protect you from bad vibes.
Yeah, but who’s on first
Crackers always think they’re safe, part of the whole ‘hubris’ thing.
Obvious balls, based on pee pee
Ok, so i actually saw this IRL once, Story Time! CW for nasty
spoiler
So I work for a godforsaken ambulance company, got a call out to a truely shitty nursing home for “Patient Sick”.
We get there and it’s this poor shell of a man, bed-bound, demented, and obviously septic as all fuck. He has contractions, a full catheter and doesnt respond to voice; he’s obviously been bed bound for a long time, not in the best care, and we aint getting a story out of him.
So we ask his nurse what’s going on with him, whats his medical history, ect, and she doesnt know much, says she just took over care for this patient, just got on shift but “The night nurse said he’s fartin’ out his dick”.
Whelp. I know when im being fucked with. Nope, no further questions, just gimme the transfer packet with his info. We load the guy up and wheel him to the truck, get vitals & get him an IV, take him to the nearest hospital on a sepsis alert, all routine stuff, but as we’re transporting i’m going through his packet and see this guy had gotten out of surgery for a small bowel obstruction last month. Poor fucker cant catch a break.
We get to the hospital, and we get him a bed in the ER, and i start giving the report to the ER nurse, mention he’s supposedly got a chief complaint of Dick Farts. Everyone laughs, funny joke
Two days later I’m back at the same hospital dropping off another patient to the same nurse and ask her if she heard any follow-up on the dick-fart-guy.
“Oh him, Ha, oh fuck. Yeah he was actually farting out his dick. He got transferred to the OR. You could see the little bubbles in the cath tube.”
His recent GI surgery had left a perferation that formed a tiny fistula to his bladder he had been slowly leaking gas through, and gave him a UTI that progressed to sepsis. He made it through from what i heard.
So yeah, that can in-fact happen