Democrats? Are we still treating them as anything other than the slightly less-boot-licking oligarch party? There IS NO FUCKING BRAND TO REDEEM. They had decades and chose to do nothing.

I’m stupid enough to believe my ex-wife still loves me, but Schumer would be fine with me dying in a fire. “Fine” perhaps is narcissistic … none of these asshats cares whether I’m alive in the first place. I’m not giving them money, so I’m nobody.

Well, guess why I’m not making donations? My ex at least inadvertently doesn’t realize we’ve been talking for hours, but anyone marching to the DNC drum wouldn’t give me a minute; waste of time when they could get money from real Americans.

Well, back then, I was thrilled that Soyo was throwing graphics onto Socket 7 mobos.

What is this Voodoo of which you speak?

Just in time for the penny to be retired!

Or should I say … the penny drops.

I’m much more familiar with the “marital” error (as evidenced by two divorces). It’s one of those errors every journalist makes at least once, unlike “pubic” – which is only made once! 🤣

I’ve never gotten the point of upvoting or downvoting as the main for of engagement with “social” media. I may do one or the other once a week when I get a chuckle or see an absurd take on journalism that isn’t worth engaging with, but simply clicking an icon is scarcely participation.

People with actual things to say is far more satisfying than facing a Hatfield-McCoy standoff.

If a currency has been debased to the point that its lowest denomination has been determined worthless, that’s not a coinage problem; it’s a fiscal-policy problem. Shave off two zeros and bring back the quarter-cent, and … problem solved (though those 9 mills on gas prices would actually mean something again).

But that would make Musk’s goal of being the first trillionaire out of reach, so let’s kill the penny ahead of addressing long-festering problems with the financial system.

I know why “appear to reveal” is used here, but the hed totally waters down the story, which already has enough “but then again” view-from-nowhere bullshit bothsidesism.

I sometimes wish I could be more of a ray of sunshine. Today started off well enough, I suppose. My friend was on time to pick me up for the airport (three hours early, just because things), and the first leg of the flight was inconsequential. The second featured an unscheduled layover for three minutes with no one getting on or off, and once we were back in the air, the flight crew actually tried to suggest the weird experience hadn’t actually happened.

This before even seeing my dad once I got here. I was warned about his state, but there’s no preparation conducive to navigating that. Mom has taking to saying “if he even lasts to Saturday …”

This feels like it’s going to be a long week, but hey! Indoor plumbing and HVAC!

… putting all those people on I-35 in Austin. Thanks, Obama!

OK, fair point.

“Moderate Republican” … sure, like that’s a thing.

“A material, a material … fuck it, whatever.”

“Martial” is what you were going for here, as is the junta.

That’s exactly my point. People won’t spend SNAP at Walmart, they’ll cancel Prime and all other streaming services. Something’s gotta give, and even HEB is raising prices by 25%-50%. Like, how is the line supposed to go up when people can’t afford your products?

We’re going to see a bunch of fools parted with their money.

“Pay them enough to buy food? Pshaw.”

Shit … I’d not seen your handle. This is now exponentially funnier. I do agree, though, that florid writing is what draws the reader in. Sure, you can bang out 12" in AP Style, but no one will remember your name.

Having a style gives you a name. It’s not a failure.

OK. So, I have to share this: I was an exchange student in Germany, and my Englisch class went on a field trip to Hannover where we watched a production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

All well and good. Until the next day. I gently remind the reader here that I was 16 at the time.

“So,” he bellows, “Why is everybody trying to make Big Daddy happy?”

And immediately, I fucking lost it. This could have been a moment for, well, just about anything than what happened. No, no, he pushed. Having a native English speaker was viewed as a bonus.

But you try explaining the nuance of “making Big Daddy happy” in the '90s and let me know how that goes, along with detailed specs of your time machine.

You know those high school nightmares where you forgot your pants or missed a final? Amateur hour. Explaining the meaning of that phrase is endlessly more complex and rife with hurdles.

I declined, twice. But the teacher demanded that if my first reaction was uproarious laughter, I had to share with the class.

Now, before you judge, imagine being the 16-year-old American at Gymnasium (wildly different word there) being asked this question. To be polite, this goes blue in a hurry. I tried to prevaricate, but the teacher kept asking me to be more specific. And at a certain point, you simply can’t underage (sure, we could buy booze and porn). Which led to increased tittilation and my final reluctant explanation.

It’s what you expect. To his credit, the teacher took it in stride, saying that everyone had learned something about English idiom. I never heard anything further about it, and I think my teacher enjoyed hazing me because he knew exactly what I was talking about.

Carmina Burana in Hamburg was something else entirely. After my host family asked how I knew all the words, my response was simply “It’s easier when you’re not sitting behind the gong.”

I actually laughed a couple of times, which didn’t help my cause.

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Well, I mean, we’re getting data in real time.

Always happy to please!