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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 13th, 2023

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  • Ah, yes, lying to your face for multiple years over a legitimate concern is exactly what a strong relationship foundation looks like. /s

    You say you need to forgive and forget, but that puts the onus on you to do all the heavy emotional lifting. They are the ones who messed up. They are who needs to step up to continuously demonstrate that they have changed. If you choose to stay consider acknowledging and navigating with eyes wide open instead of brushing it under the rug of blanket forgiveness.

    You call him an angel, but do remember that Lucifer/the devil was also once an angel.

    Trust your gut and move on. Death by 1000 papercuts is still death. The trust with him is already gone because of their actions and literally years long deceit. If they cared about you, they would have already made you the priority and honored/validated your concerns about their ‘friends’ for the last two years. Not just when they can’t cover their tracts anymore (you moving in together) and hope they have you cornered/worn down enough for you to give in easily to their faults. If they cared they wouldn’t gaslight you into thinking you’re crazy/jealous over something that ACTUALLY happened. Do not let them sway you with this sunk cost fallacy. Take your efforts and energy to where they are appreciated. You deserve to be treated better. They know it and your stomach knows it.















  • If you’re the one working then why would your SO be able to threaten to not pay bills? Maybe it’s time to change which account your paychecks are going to. Have you considered opening a separate account just for you? Or try taking your name (or theirs) off as many joint accounts as possible. Maybe freezing your credit so nothing else can be opened in your name (assuming you’re in the us)? Are you are legally married to them? If so filing for divorce might be another avenue to talk to a lawyer about. (Most lawyers don’t charge for the initial consultation).

    Are there any domestic violence shelters in your vicinity? It truely sounds like you’re in an abusive relationship and being held hostage in your own home. It’s only a matter of time before the violence gradually increases, because nothing you will ever do will appease them long enough to change their minds on how to treat you. Can you record people in your state/country? The us has some states where only one party needs permission to record so giving yourself permission is fully acceptable to begin recording. There are also some apps that can record audio/video when the phone appears off and uploads the video onto the internet.

    You do not have to answer any of these questions. This internet stranger is just worried for you and truly hopes you find a safe haven. Regardless of anything else, I’m proud of you for working so hard to better yourself and your circumstances!