Welcome to our newest technology, mini sheets! They are much softer and better for your anal health. Good luck guessing what size they are.

You really need to work on the reading comprehension. There is an enormous difference between exceptional vanity, and just being born ugly.

It’s not a good system. It benefits none of the citizens. It’s being done to intentionally divide us further.

It’s turtles all the way down

Honestly you’re welcome. I’m glad someone is benefiting from this absolute shit show.

Your bank sucks. Get a credit union.

Hunger games

Technically they train us to ask specifically are you sexually active with men, women or both? I suppose it would be more fair to include intersex people, but that would just lead to us definitely ordering a pregnancy test…

My grandpa had a pawpaw tree in his garden in rural MO and I always wondered how they taste.

What a terrible day to be literate.

Reddit’s razor? Harambe’s razor?

The dream could be realized if America actually had high speed rail, but that would require investing our taxes into real infrastructure instead of state-sponsored terrorism.

Then he works for the casino, and attracts more suckers like your bestie.

Independent repair shops FTW

Just to throw in a different genre, I’m currently enjoying Car-X Street, Forza racing, and need for speed heat.

Welcome brother! Or sister… Or non-binary memelord… Uwu…

God that entire movie was like Adam Sandler possessed my mind, took a bag of shrooms, and then endured a kiwi fever dream.

Associated with ≠ causes. Thanks for playing “Logical fallacies 101”

Serve your country, son